People

Do you sometimes do flashbacks in your mind and then thought I should'nt have said that, or I should've said something nicer or should have been more gracious about the whole incident or blah.. blah .. blah? Or maybe told yourself you should have just shut up instead of putting your foot into your mouth?

I met a few friends whom occurred to me are among the nicest, gracious people. They made you feel very welcomed, told you your apologies are unwarranted, put you at ease and in the whole process made you feel very humbled indeed..

(I'm not too sure what is the point of this post - this is like a scene from a movie where the writer ripped the paper out of the typewriter, crumpled it into a ball and threw it furiously across the room.. In other words, the whole story is just impossibly baaad .. )

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Seasons Of Life

...
I climbed the mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills ~
Till the landslide brought it down
O mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can a child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tide?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Uhm.. mm.. I dont know
Well I've been afraid of changing
'Cos I build my life around you
But time makes you bolder, even the children get older
I'm getting older too
...

I am currenly indulging in the oldies by Stevie Nicks. This is from Landslide which is most poignant..

Current Read

I have yet to finish the "What Color Is Your Parachute?" The book turned out to be tougher than I expected. The exercises include identifying who you are, what turns you on (no, not like that..) and writing essays. So I decided to take a breather from that for uhm.. a while .. a long time maybe..

I also finished Sandra Brown's "Play Dirty". It's not as good as her previous writes I think..

I am continuing with "The Happiest Woman In Hereafter" which I read halfway before Ramadhan. I put that aside when I picked up "Remeh-temeh Tentang Puasa - Tapi Anda Malu Bertanya" (ya, saya malu... it is a virtue, you know..)

So yeah, I read books like that - sometimes the book just cant hold your attention - so I exchange it with another. At the end of the day I will finish all my books - because I hate spending the money on them for nothing.

So I have to finish all these books before I pay another visit to the bookstore..

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Raya Stories Part IV : (burp..) Uh.. excuse me..

That's what Syawal weekends are all about - eat, eat and eat.

You cant not go to your relatives' or friends' houses if you are invited for their raya do. So you went. When you come back they will tapau more food for you and you smiled and said thank you and put the things in your fridge when you got home.

You invited people over and whatever left overs you have, you put that in your fridge too. After some time my fridge is bulging and I have already forgotten what I have put in there..

I also have lots of kueh raya (I didnt over bought them ok - I only bought the pineapple tart) that were given to me by my in-laws, my niece etc etc. They were also some crisps that I was obliged to buy.. which made my cupboard bulging.

Everywhere I turn there are food, food and more food. I wish I can have my normal, dull, nothing-happening weekends back very very soon, dont you?

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Buzzing

Lately my head is buzzing with a lot of ideas ~

+ I'd like to have a vegetable patch at the back of the house. I bought some seeds and some plants already - tomatoes, aubergines and chilli. But the hardwork - to dig the patch - has not yet started..

+ I have been cooking and cooking lately for raya guests. It seem like nice - has been a long time since I've spent that much time in the kitchen. I've forgotten how good it can make you feel when you try something new and it turned out great!

+ I am also thinking about starting a new blog for food / cooking / recipes.

+ Everytime I sit in my living room I'd look at the ceiling and walls and think that I should redo the whole room. The curtains are already 10 years old; my one and only. So are the sofas and the rugs..

+ I have been thinking about writing a book - is that a crazy idea or what? - got some materials / ideas for it..

.. and on and on. It'll be wonderful if I'd be able to get all these accomplished.

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Not On Our Whims..

Yesterday turned out to be a very full day. Visited a friend (if I can call her that) whose husband had passed away. Stopped by at a friend's house for raya on the way back from the visit. Got great news from friends and then topped that all up with a jalan-jalan hari raya at a neighbour's house.

The events left me feeling disorientedly mixed-up.

I am being reminded that death is very sad indeed. It could also strip you of all your dignity. And only Allah swt knows our fate at death. Doa lah banyak-banyak.

I found out that whilst I am very very happy for (and proud too of) my friends and do not wish anything less for them, yet at the same time I am envious. I tell myself doa lah banyak-banyak..

I know I'd rather mope around the house instead of visiting.. mostly anyone in fact.. but we all know how much Islam put emphasis on silaturrahim within neighbors and anyone else. So I should do it. Doa lah banyak-banyak..

Raya Stories Part 3 : Dont Try This At Home!!

So tell me, what do you see on raya that you seldom do on other days? Yeah the food – lemang, rendang and all the works..

Massive traffic on the highway but quiet / empty city roads.

Sparkling clean houses.

Raya lights (I love this)

Duit raya! (My children love this)

Family members we don’t usually see.

Baju raya.

Lots of blink-blink. One last thing I myself notice at raya is the gold accessories that women-folk would wear. Small ones, chunky ones, long necklaces, chokers, anklets and bracelets and bangles. Don’t forget the sweet little pendant to large ‘medallions’. And ear rings and studs and hoops. And of course rings (and anything else I'd have missed).

On raya I met people with long and short chunky necklaces (one even wore 3 of them - at the same time, mind you.. which would definitely put Mr T to shame..) They also had equally large bands of bracelets strapped to both their wrists. Of course they also wore rings and medallions and ear rings.

Personally I cant seem to appreciate all the adornment that they have on. Don’t people get it that sometimes less is actually more..?

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Raya Stories Part 2 - Whispers

Coincidently I lost my voice on raya day itself. I think my throat got a shock over the iced drink on buka puasa Thur as for the last 28 days or so there were no iced drinks served at home.

Fri I croaked like a toad and on Raya itself, no one could understand me and talking was just an effort I prefer to pass.

The children loved it as I cant nag them at all. They imitateted my raspy whispers and called me ? (the character from Lord of The Rings - I'm no fan of the trilogy so I dont know who / what I was supposed to be..) - those brats!

I think it was frustrating as I cant chat with anyone that I only meet on an occassion like raya. But in a way it was a blessing too - I made it as an excuse not to visit anyone I dont want to visit .. he-he.

It seem worse today - need to see the doctor after all - it's been almost a week. And although I have my voice now (coincidently I sound better than Ella - she's my least fave singer you know..) I feel like there's a lump somewhere in my throat.

I suppose the doctor might give me an MC. Actually I've got plans in the office (work plans ok - not raya plans..) and after this long raya break I am not looking forward for an MC anyway. We'll see...

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Raya Stories Part I

We made it home to CJ after all this raya. A phone call to mum made me scrap my earlier plans to raya in KL. Told my daughter to see her boss to get extra days cuti else she's just going to find her own way home to CJ (or spend raya alone!) and told Luq to drop off midway on his journey and dont come to KL (unless he wants to spend raya alone too!)

Pre-raya at CJ is typical - cooking is predominant with no time for anything else. There is the rendang tok, rendang pedas, ketupat daun palas and wajik. Add to that list nasi impit and kuah kacang and kuah lodeh and curry chicken. But raya was a bit quiet this time - there were only four of us siblings.

Raya itself is spent - eating, what else? - and catching up with each other. But the kitchen is the place to be where mum is concerned.. we cook and clean and cook and cook..

Raya at the in-laws is totally different. We can lepak all day watching tv if we like - switching channels the busiest that we can get and nobody would complain about it. We cook a big pot of anything at the start of the day and eat that all day long.. (no comments from me..)

On the third day of raya we are already back in KL. Unfortunately once we get home, there is not much of the raya mood anymore. The children would be occupied with the PC / PS2 / Disney channel / sleeping (???) Then there'd be big piles of dirty laundry to get over with and the house has to be cleaned (it is raya - the house need to be sparkling..) It is too early to go out visiting also - seem like everyone's still beraya di kampung.

Today the children plan to visit Low Yatt to get some stuff. I need to get the groceries - the boys are home and I need plenty of food. Maybe I should bake a cake too..

How's that for raya? Dull, eh? I have to do better next year.

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Raya Plans

I think I will most probably celebrate raya first in KL and then after Fitr Solat only will we head home balik kampung.

The boys have been silent - especially those two up north. Dont know what their class schedules or their fitr holidays are like. After much effort to call them (seem like reception is bad on campus.. ) only did I know that classes will finish on Wed and so will only arrive in KL on Fri night!

What frustration! This is what happens when I dont keep looking over their shoulder and tell them what to do. If classes finishes at noon Wed, then balik la Wed afternoon, why Thur afternoon?

So rather than rushing back to kampung on Fri (I bet it's going to be a long and a very, very slow journey) we decided to postpone it a bit.

But raya at home means a full day in the kitchen on Fri - without fail. Ada orang nak makan wajik la, rendang la, lodeh la, kuah kacang la etc etc. Must plan for that.

And also fitr eve I think we should do something together so I thought main bunga api would be nice. I bought the bunga api and my significant other had shook his head when I told him but Eirfan said yippee, boleh main bunga api dengan abang (so it's alright then. ha-ha.) I should have a supper picnic while watching the boys play I think. (Almost like independence day celebration - if only the bunga api are as nice and not ciput like mine... )

Hope it is going to be another nice raya.

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