SAJ : A Memoir Part II ~ Family Weddings

As an after-thought, I think I will change further memoir posts (the first one here) as my mother’s instead. Which is only right, as the stories are told by my mum anyway. That SAJ is mum’s initials.

Anyway. I went back to see mum again a few days back. It was a short and an unplanned trip. We chatted over tea on the patio. Serving and drinking afternoon tea with kueh is a tradition at mum’s. A must. Almost sacred if I may say. It could be 40° degrees outside, but tea will still be served (and you aren’t getting any iced lemon tea either; ah-ah, this is hot, piping afternoon tea. A very civil affair, let me tell you). Throughout my life all I see my mother drinking only teh ‘o’. Only lately has she added anmum to her morning tea.

Her topic that afternoon was about weddings in our family. She said Abg Nan (my eldest brother) kawen kat rumah lama tu (pointing to our old-er wooden house. We have the old house and the new – baru pun dah 30 tahun dah rumah tu - concrete house. The patio joined the two houses together. I wish I had photos. I love the house). Hujan masa dia kawen tu ,my mum added.

Rumah ni (the new-er one) dah siap masa Abg Ki & Tiah kawen (that’s the second and the third). Depa kawen sekali. Yang lain semua kawen kat rumah ni la. Leli (she's the 9th in the family) tak, said mum after a pause (my sister’s name is Laili Mazni; which had prompted my son Ilyas asking me many times, kenapa nama dia sedap? Ala like nama mama dia tak sedap. I always tell him that by the time I was born my mum had run out of naming ideas already! *note – I come from a big, big family). Leli kawen kat dewan sebab kenduri tu buat sekali keluarga perempuan & lelaki. Masa tu pun arwah ayah dah takdak, mak sambung lagi.

When I got home I noticed my mother is having the old house re-painted. Yang kelakar nye the towkay painting the house is as old as my mum! He said he is 76 and laughed when I asked how much longer he is going to continue working. I told him towkay ni pun dah tua macam mak saya la! He said he only do work for his old (pun intended here) customers.

I thought my mother looked healthy that day, but she herself said she feels leee-tih sangat. Memang dah tak larat. Hari2 macam ni, mak tarik buku je lah baca kat sini (I wondered how I would be at her age - if I live to be her age, that is).

When I was leaving, my mother gave me a small box wrapped in a white tissue paper. She said ni barang mak, ambik la buat kenangan (sedih pulak menulis pasal nih). Jangan la bukak la ni, mak kata. I opened the box in the car. She had given me a pair of her ear rings. A traditional design not unlike bunga tanjung. I remember seeing her wearing those in her younger days. And she had looked pretty too.

There is only one thing wrong with her gift – I cant show you how pretty they are when worn.

Pix : mak & arwah ayah when young (I must ask her how old she was when this was taken).

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Yahya Hj Shafie : A Memoir (Part 1)

(I am writing this because I am afraid that one day I might not remember anymore the tales that mum tells and at that time nobody can tell these treasured stories anymore. I hope to have many more posts like this thus this is the first of many more precious stories to be told.)

When I went home to my mum's the other day, she told many tales of my late father. One of the things I like to do bila balik is to listen to her stories - melayan sembang mak, I always say - dengar je mak nak cerita apa. And laugh and nod. Kadang2 cerita mak kena kat batang hidung sendiri. Hmm - tu tak best. Tapi that afternoon, mak cerita pasal arwah je.

Mak is as old as Dr M and arwah ayah a couple of years older. According to mum arwah keras hati, kalau dia nak buat apa-apa dont anybody say anything; and sungguh kuat bekerja. Mak kata, kalau nak tengok ayah dulu macam mana, tengok si SAY (that's my adik - his initials. Wahai adik, if you are reading this I will translate that as degil - haha - although mak didnt say it quite like that.)

According to my mum, arwah and my late grandfather do not necessarily see things eye to eye. That is why she said, after a couple of months being married and staying at the in-laws my father decided to move to a house of their own. Bukan jauh pun rumah tu mak kata, it is still within the school compound (both my father and grandfather were teachers.) As expected my grandfather wasnt pleased my mother was moving out sebab tu mak kata they did it in the middle of the night! (We both gelak besar at this point - me because I cant believe my mother would do something so out of character like that; what it is to be young..)

Mak kata arwah suka football (I didnt know that. I only knew he liked watching wrestling on our b&w tv.) Kalau pasal bola, mak tak boleh kata apa. Boleh berkelahi she said. The other thing she had no say is about his smoking. Marah sangat mak kata kalau mak sebut.

Once my mum was due to deliver my sister (mak cant remember which - haha - mungkin sebab ramai. I always forgive mak for not remembering things like this. I have only five of my own and I sometimes cant relate which contraction to which child either, much as I love each of them..) and arwah insisted to watch a match in KL. Jauh tu. Mak kata nanti kalau nak deliver macam mana? Arwah kata takde nak deliver lagi tu. Tapi just in case, dia akan tinggal pesan pada Kadir to get the bidan (Kadir is an Indian Muslim who owns the kedai runcit across the road from our house. Mak kata ayah bukan main baik nye dengan Kadir tu) Jadi kalau mak nak deliver mak has to send any of the older kids pergi bagitau Kadir. Sure enough memang mak tak deliver my sister (whose identity will remain forever anonymous) pun.

Mak kata kalau arwah pergi tengok bola, he will leave home malam Sabtu and will arrive home again Subuh sepe'i hari Isnin. He will bathe, pray and leave for school. Kadang2 lutut to menggeletar nak pergi sekolah tu, mak kata. Mak gelak lagi.

Once arwah niat nak sembelih kambing (lupa nak tanya mak niat apa). He tied the kambing bawah rumah and pesan to my mum that night, esok kita bangun awal sebab nak sembelih kambing tu. Masa nak sembelih tu, dia kata kat mak - pegang kuat2 macam ni. Haha - mak gelak & said, apa yang ayah tu tak buat.

My mum's house sits on a piece of land very close to the trunk road. Mak kata they bought the land for RM1,600. Later a part of the land were taken to widen the road and they were compensated for that same amount. Mak kata macam dapat tanah tu for nothing. But it was a swampy piece of land; mak cerita kawan dia kata, kalau tanah tu orang bagi free pun aku tak mau.

But my dad was a patient man. And resourceful. Ada plan. He slowly brought in pasir and tanah merah; tambak tanah tu. Mak cerita ada sekali tu arwah beli lapan lori tanah which were dumped at the corner of the land. Mak suruh dia upah orang tolong ratakan tanah tu. He said he will do it himself. Tiap2 hari lepas sekolah he will rest a while and then turun pergi ratakan tanah tu. Punye lah teruk nye kerja mak kata sampai kena panggil Pak ? (I dont remember the name mak mentioned) alah orang Jelutong tu, tak ingat? mak tanya. I said I was born in CJ I dont know anybody in Jelutong (Jelutong is a small kampong where my parents used to teach and live. A place with lots of durian, close to Bukit Gantang. A place where most of my older brothers and sisters grew up) anyway - sampai mak kena panggil tukang urut untuk ayah. Pakcik urut tu marah mak kata, he said hang ni Yahya jangan dok buat kerja teruk tu, in between arwah's groans of pain. Mak kata tu lah lucu nye ayah kadang2. Dan rajin nye.

Arwah passed away young, at 56 (ke 58? I need to confirm this) He was in the hospital for 12 days, kata mak. He came home after that, stayed home for 7 days and then passed away. Mak kata selama duduk rumah tu arwah murung. The day before he died he asked mak mana dia duit yang saya suruh simpan tu? Then dia bilang and bagitau mak tak cukup ni. Mak kata mak tanya, tak cukup nak buat apa? Mak kata rupa nye dia kata tak cukup untuk siapkan jenazah. "Takut" bila mak cerita pasal ni; takut kalau mak menangis (my mum's version of menangis is teary eyed). But my mother has always been very strong.

He went on a Thursday afternoon. In his last moments he told mak that dia dah nak pergi dah. Sempat mak mengajar shahadah. Mak kata arwah meninggal senang. The rest of the evening and the next day I remember well and I dont think I will ever forget.

Yahya @ Yahaya Hj Shafie. 1923 - 1979

Al-Fatihah.

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Life Could Never Stay That Simple Part 1- Imagine

I've been thinking about putting in ink about days gone by; of younger days. Carefree days. Unburdened heart. Of innocence. In fact, I've been thinking about writing this for quite some time but I guess there is a time and place for everything. And I guess this is the moment.

And in a way Zana's post on John Lennon made me start this as I too have a story to tell concerning John Lennon during college days. Who'd have thought?

I only knew of John Lennon as a guy from the Beatles. Vaguely. Bangs that almost (or actually did) cover the eyes. Glasses. Or something like that.

When I was doing the Advanced English classes at college I got to know him a little better. Our instructor Mary Pascall, gave us the Imagine song lyrics one day as part of our lessons. She turned on the cassette (sorry dude, there were no CDs during those good old days) and made us all sing the song together in class. It was a song I never knew before then (oh what a sin that was as far as I am concerned!) And Mary told us about Lennon. His life. Yoko Ono. I cant say why I remember this till this day. There must be something although I cant say what (kalau tak ada apa yang significant takkan ingat sampai hari ni).

And I can actually still see Mary standing in front of the class. Blonde. Shoulder length hair like 'maggi-mee', us locals would say. Her favorite outfit was her deep purple dress with black opaque leggings that semester. Or her black vest with her khaki pants.

There is something about her that made myself and Naza, my classmate laughed. She's funny in a way. Orang Amerika ni kadang2 exaggerate so badly. And that in itself is so weird* to the rather more reserved Asian I suppose.

*and I learned of the word weird in the early days at college too. Strange is perceived as a somewhat more formal word; or maybe used by the more reserved Englishmen I suppose. And you have to learn to roll your tongue too the way Americans do. Otherwise mat sallehs tak paham jugak kalau kata weird pun.

Anyway. Mary is one of the ok instructors. Maybe because she is younger than the rest (?). More open. She loves Rolling Stone (I had wondered why, oh why? Coincidently do you know Mick Jagger is knighted and is now known as Sir?) She was so excited about the Rolling Stone concert at Folsom Field (that's the name of the college football field), that autumn. I checked and yes, Rolling Stone did perform at CU Boulder on the 3rd&4th Oct that year. If I am not mistaken Mary attended the concerts on both days. That's how crazy she was over the Rolling Stone.

I dont remember that weekend but most weekends at college were noisy anyway; with football, parties or mat sallehs being plain drunk. I dont remember what kind of weekend I had that week, but I suppose it wasnt as loud as Mary's. Not even close.

(And as of today I have a new label called Memoir where all posts with similar sentiment will be parked.)

And yeah, life could never ever stay that simple. That easy. Now I know.

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Soup For The Soul

I am currently on leave - my mum is here for a visit and had told my sis she's coming over to my place. Despite being on leave for the school hols last week, I went ahead and apply for a couple more days off this week. Semestinya hasrat bonda lebih penting dari the wrath of the bosses in the office..

I planned to take her to Ikea today. Bukan apa, she'll be on her wheel chair and Ikea has got a lot of space to manouver. At the last minute she said no - perut meragam sebab makan sedap sangat pagi tadi she later told my sister. When asked what I had cooked for breakfast I said kodok pisang!

So I am staying home & doing nothing but melayan sembang bonda these couple of days. She has deep affection for Umno so I sat with her through the daily reports of Perhimpunan Umno (unfortunately - or is that fortunately? - politics do nothing for me). She cant wait for the Bukit Gantang elections - kampung dia / kami. After dinner today we went down memeory lane looking through some black and white photos I have on my laptop - we had lots of laughs.. this was my granddad.


These are my parents from the old days.


And this is us (minus one).

This posting will go under the label 'soul' - for obvious reasons. I wonder how many more ocassions like this I might have with mum anyway?

Note - I changed the label to memoir today (Dec 2011).

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