Bodily Shutdown

It wasnt that awful. But the waiting was. I'm talking about being sick and waiting to get better, that's what.

I was out of the office for a week. A whole week! Seem like it was something serious and damaging, dont you think? But it was only a cold, fever and lots and lots of coughing.

I asked the nice lady doctor why I feel so drowsy all the time whereas there dont seem much wrong with me. She said, oh dont worry, it's just a way your body is telling you that it is weak and need to shut down for a while. So you just go home, take the medicine and just have long rests. Dont even think about cooking she added. So yeah, I didnt think about ~ never mind do ~ any cooking at all. The poor darlings at home..

So during the downtime I moped and brood around the house. Nothing much could spark any interest from me. I wondered when I could start going to work again.

Last night while watching CNN and their reports on Iranian President calling Bush for a talk and a few more bodies that were found in Iraq not to mention reports on Lubnan, I said I cant imagine how those American newscasters could report all that they are reporting without feeling ashamed or guilty of what their country is doing to the whole world!

Then something clicked in my brain. I realised that hey, I am capable of strong opinions and managed to form some logical feedback on serious matters after all. So I deem myself fit to work again today..

*****

By The Moon and The Stars Junk

Someone sent me an e-mail on the moon and the stars and personality prediction and all that rubbish. I always take these with a pinch of salt. So this is what they say about me..

They : No matter what, everyone will love you because you are ruled by the Moon.
Me : Yeah, yeah ~ cut that crap. Just get on with it.

They : You daydream a lot.
Me : Hmmm..

They : You have a very low self-esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life.
Me : Hey, that’s what that smart-aleck guy inferred in class that day – that.. that creep! Grr..

They : You are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances.
Me : So, tell me something I dont know..

They : You are selfish.
Me : Excuse me, I am not!

They : You have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication.
Me : You are kidding me! I like music ~ I wanted to learn the piano but haven’t got the opportunity to start yet. Singing? Not a note. Art? I cant even draw a stick. And yeah, I talk so much that I trip over my tongue.

They : You can be sweet as an angel.
Me : Me? Are they talking about me? (..cough..cough..) I need some air here.. for a moment there I almost fainted.

They : You can also be ruthless when double crossed.
Me : I do not. I never hold a grudge. Err.. I don’t, do I?

They : Some might say you have sixth sense.
Me : Melalut lah tu.

They : You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a business person.
Me : Pantun-pantun ni tak pandai la. I am not a writer, but wish I could be one. An artist? Never! But I am definitely a business person wannabe..

They : You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down.
Me : Well, what do you know..? That’s why I settled down very quickly, otherwise I’d be perpetually heart broken.. he-he..

They : If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family.
Me : Nope.

They : You will sacrifice your life for your family.
Me : I suppose any decent person would sacrifice for their loved ones. This is such a sweeping statement that applies to everybody.

They : You are gentle.
Me : (.. speechless… blush gitu..)

They : You are intuitive with a broad vision.
Me : Oh yeah? So how come these training people from SmartOrange send me to this class on enterprise strategy etc etc ? No vision at all, broad or otherwise - that's me.

They : You make a well-balanced person.
Me : Yes, I am the man.. er.. woman, I mean.

They : Your best match is from groups 2, 7, 5 or 9 as no other people can put up with you!!
Me : (..gasp..) Hey! That’s my husband..!

Ha-ha.. Dont trust these rubbish.

*****

Milestones Part 1

I like to think that life comes in 3 parts. The first is the school days till graduation. The second is career and the young family. The third I would guess is after our own children have departed (virtually if not physically) for their own lives and we would once again, be on our own. There could be other stages in later life that I have not had a sight on yet..

I'd think that I am moving towards the later part of the second stage.

Attended my daughter's graduation yesterday. When we got home she had said she didn’t feel much at graduating. I told her I shed some tears that morning in the hall because the occasion is a major milestone in my life. And of course the doa was beautiful and the varsity song was poignant. The band played nice jazzy music; interspersed with soft gamelan throughout the ceremony.

It certainly doesn’t feel like it was that long ago since she was a baby. Lionel Richie was singing ‘Hello, is it me you are looking for?’ then. But here I am twenty-something years later writing about her graduation.

Certainly there are thousands that graduate each year. But when one of your own graduates, it is a big deal. It definitely is a major milestone in my passage through this life.

*****

Crying Me A River

It was an occasion to celebrate.

Her name on the big screen.

With friends.

The Graduate

.. sobs..

I suppose the pictures say it all..

She was a cantankerous baby. It was somewhat difficult handling her then.

But she did well in school. I missed her first day at school though. Her first year started in Dec instead of Jan – something to do with the monsoon & floods. Unfortunately I was away so her father had sent her to school.

She did pretty well in her primary school exams. She scored straight As in her PMR. She was over the moon. I cried. She scored a few more As in her SPM. She cried because she thought she should have studied harder and gotten better grades. Of course I cried too.

So now she has graduated. She said she has no feelings whatever about her graduation. When I told her I cried at her graduation ceremony she said why? I said because the occasion is a different milestone in my life as it is for hers..

Congrats, yang. Love you.

May Allah place us among the learned, the faithful, the successful and among His loved ones. This is but the beginning and the best is yet to come, Insya’allah.

*****

Much Blessed

I was driving home the other day when the traffic came to an almost full stop at some houses along the road. I wondered what was going on and eased off my foot from the accelerator pedal.

Turned out that the local council had demolished some rumah kilat along the road. There were boxes and raga all over the place filled with house owners’ belongings. The owners themselves were hanging about looking upset, angry and worried. There’s a small canopy close by. I suppose that’s the roof over their head that night.

The next day I passed by the same area and noticed most boxes were gone but the canopy and remaining items with a couple of people were still there. I suppose those left have not found a new place for themselves. My sympathies are with all of them.

So when I have a bad day today I told myself to stop looking at people who are better than me, in the worldly sense, but look instead at those who are on the other side of the scale. I have much to be thankful for. & I came up with these lines today..

Traffic is bad and the drivers are rude
Work is uninspiring - and I’m so not in the mood
Bosses and peers make me an unlikely joyful crowd
And in fact, there are so many more I could go on about.

But if I were smart then I would see
That I am actually blessed with treasures aplenty
Family and health that are so very dear to me
And faith and friends to keep me in safe company.

Yeah, if I were smart I would definitely see ~
Allah has been bountiful indeed upon me!

And so I decided to quit feeling sorry for myself today.

*****

Male Drivers!

I was the model for all city drivers this morning. I didnt change lane haphazardly, I yielded to motorcyclists and I even let others overtake me. The traffic contributed to the mood of course. The road was not too packed and generally the drivers behaved ..

.. until I got onto Jalan Tun Razak and tried to change lane. Yes, of course I used the signal! But this mamat, seeing that I was about to pull in front of him, sped up and immediately pull alongside me so that I cant chage lane in front of him. He avoided making eye contact, his face turned to his right but he was mumbling something, swearing at me I would guess.

It's just not me to give in on the road (there goes all my good driving etiquette. Well, the few that I have anyway). I refused to give way but drove beside him behind the front car. After a few seconds he looked my way, I shook my head at him, signifying how disgusting, appalling, atrocious and immature his action was. Then I drove off and changed lane a few cars further up.

While still feeling mad, I wished him a miserable day ahead, full of torture and nightmares and anguish ..

*****

Friends

Felt melancholy this morning. Thought about a lot of things including life (of course!), work, mum, enstrangements etc. But one thing got stuck in my mind. Friends.

Sometimes friends come and go as we move on. Even the best of friends. Few we keep in touch with but the others just slip through.

This morning I decided to revive old friendships that somehow just slipped by. Also pledged to make better ties with all the other friends.

To all my dearest friends, thank you for making work a bit easier, days a bit more cheerful and for the sharing & caring. Wish all my friends the best of the best! Love you all.

*****