It Is New Year 1430 / 2009

So the long holidays came and now almost gone. It is already Dec 31st.

In a way it is ending nicely. My mum stayed over at our place for a few days over the Christmas week. The boys are 'safely' back in college (under the watchful and caring supervision of their lecturers.. hint, hint you lecturers out there!) Iman is as usual busy at year end with year end closing.

2009 is looming. Tonite we will be catching the new year fireworks at KLCC after picking up Iman at her office (she's working till 2300 tonite! What h***..)

Nevertheless Eirfan is at home dan masih dibuai mimpi cuti sekolah (he said ye ke Isnin ni sekolah? We all go duh..) Tomorrow we'll get the rest of his uniform, shoes etc etc. And thankfully abang is finally taking his desktop back to his dorm today (I am blessed).

My new year resolutions are done. I have 5 major topics with more details under each. They range from health to faith and family and financial etc etc. My iman list is the longest (I suppose that's because I am a bit behind in that area!)

I feel like I can do something like Malaysia's 'Bajet 2009' report / penggulungan / presentation pulak with all the details I have outlined in my resolution. I am pretty serious about it this year..

So basically I am ready for 2009 (actually I was ready at 29/12, on Maal Hijah). Insya'Allah semoga tahun ini lebih banyak beribadat, berkat, sihat dan bertambah-tambah keimanan kita hendaknya. Happy New Year to all!

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December Winter Wonderland / Resolutions

I love winter. Love the snow. Love the holiday atmosphere at year end / new year. With lights up on trees all around town and the cold that can chill you to the bone!

(ps - Zana / Siti / Delinn : would you people make up your mind, work hard, pack up and just go? I'll visit each and everyone of you..)

It is December and almost year end now. I've got to seriously get down to my resolution list. But I discover that you cant sit down at the table and simply write them down. You must do it from within you; with your heart and your passion. It's not totally about the mind actually.

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Books, Books And More Books Part 9

This is different. I didnt finish this although I seriously did try very hard to do it.

Tapi mak ai, English nya English zaman purba. I thought I could take any English dished out at me. Tapi berpijak lah di bumi yang nyata - I cant take this. I dont really understand it (or actually, I must work very hard to understand it). Definitely my speed reading could not be applied here.

Further more this is a play. I tak pernah baca any play and I think it is weird to be reading it. I'll save this for whenever I need to analyse Shakespeare (maybe in my another life or when I do my degree in English literature or something.. konon). For now Shakespeare and I must depart.

Dee would be laughing at me right now if she reads this..

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Creativity Rules The Day

I love these. They are soooo pretty dont you think? I took about a week to sew these on the sleeves and a bit at the collar. It seem too bare otherwise. Iman kata, ma they look like they were done by a professional! (How nice a compliment is that?) More photos here.

Unfortunately I cant claim the designs as mine. It is my cikgu's.

I had finished this sometime back but I dont have photos of them. All my photos turn blur everytime I take a close shot of anything. I was thinking of buying a new camera with complex gadgets for good photography - an SLR or something.

FORTUNATELY I talked to a guy in the office who is a photography enthutiast who told me about the macro feature in cameras. I went back to the camera manual (had to look for it online; I lost my owner's copy - that's how old the camera is) and what do you know.. now my photos are all cantik and clear at close-ups!

I suppose I will have more phots on the blog after this. Maybe I'll even pick up photography. I am learning other features of the camera also - it's never too late to for anything - or so we are told.

Anyway currently I am working on a beaded tote bag for Iman's friend. After that there's another kurung I have to finish. I already have a design in mind for that but I have to dream about the colors a bit before I go hunting for the beads.

For now books and other stuff (including photography I suppose) have to take the backseat; I am going beading.

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Uncompromisingly Moody

I am like in a trance period - I feel like I am hanging somewhere in mid-air and things pass me by without really touching me. I see them but I am not feeling anything. Almost as if like I have cotton wool in my head.

I lost my temper yesterday. I displayed my infamous tantrum to the girl who came to get my signature for her transport. She must have hated my guts - she left the office on time; which is not quite her. Earlier at lunch I met a guy in the foyer, whom I havent seen for quite some time. He said he manages stress by passing it around to his colleagues - I guess that was what I was doing.

I suppose it is the end of the year thing..

Hey, my previous boss would rant and rave when he found something he didnt like on our transport form. After more than enough lecture THEN will he scratch his name at the dotted line. And the current boss would put a BIG question mark when she sees something she didnt like. I am not even half as bad.

Today I think I have my "I am not a friendly person" face on. God help me. And I wish everyone good luck too.

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I Wrote Them? When?

I blogged about new year resolutions a couple of weeks back. For 2009 I said, I will write my list of resolutions so I wont forget them.

This morning I was looking for my notebook@scrapbook (not that I draw / paste anything, I always write. I have a few of those actually). I found this book I call "My Goals Book" or something akin to that. And surprise, surprise - what do you know? I have written in there my 2008 resolutions! LOL.

I forgot that I wrote them down so I wont forget them but in actual fact I've actually forgotten I've even written them.

Yeah, anyway.

So for 2008 let's see, I wanted to hmm.. yeah the usual stuff - eat more prudently, lose some weight, be better spiritually, da-dee-da, blah-blah. Hey, guess what? I can use the same list for 2009! (How unoriginal!)

I plan to have a long list of resolutions for 2009. But I am taking it a bit professionally and will call it Azah's 2009 Life Plan (sounds like an insurance plan pulak..) - you know how we have to have a yearly business plan in the office - yeah, this is going to be like that.

I already have a few in my mind. Where is that Goals Book..? Let's hope next year I dont forget I do keep a journal on this.

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Not A Desperate Housewife (Seriously I Am Not..)

I totally blame Zana for this entry. I was reading her blog when I click on some link then another and then another and then lo and behold, I am desperate in Wisteria la-la-land.

Took a quiz on that site (take the quiz here) and the result above (yeah, I am rash, over-protective and just you wait when my wrath befalls on you..) But I had fun there. Thank you Zana!

Aidil Adha @ Melawati

We decided to spend raya at home after all. Buat kerja korban.

Raya started early yesterday evening. We had pot luck dinner with the neighbors. The food was alright; but not our usual spread. Our elected-chef is out of the country so food was quite modest without her. After that there was takbir from house to house which ended at almost midnight.

And today it had rained all day. But we've got to do what we got to do. After prayers and breakfast we stood huddled under the umbrella watching blood gushing from the fallen animal and colored the earth red. Terdetik pulak di hati cerita nabi Ibrahim & Ismail as; how the father & son had been willing to sacrifice nyawa demi Allah.

The boys were very supportive today (of course their father had uh, pressured them - yeah, that's a diplomatic word to use I think - into helping). Earlier in the morning I saw my son standing near the animal, when I called to him he said, busy ma. The second time I saw him standing like that I called to him again and again he said, busy ma, but added, busy watching the (already slaughtered) cow, under his breath. The cheeky boy - all of them do these to me all the time. I gave him a knife and told him to get busy. And anyway I couldnt be more proud of the boys on any given raya korban..








After that there was no time to doodle. We had lots to do. We had about 50 anak yatim invited for the raya feast. & there was a lot to cook. Ustaz yang bawa budak2 tu kata terima kasih jemput anak2 ni sebab kalau tak it is just like another ordinary day for them at school. Kesian pulak dengar. Budak2 yang datang tu umur 5-6 tahun. Tiny babies still. They sang and dance and do a silat performance for us. I thought, their parents would be proud to see the show; but they arent there..

We gave them a bag each filled with schooling stuff. Those going to school next year got school bags, shoes and uniforms. And someone kindly gave a goodies bag each. Seronok tengok depa makan; beriya. Tak menang tangan nak layan. The teachers were very patient with the children. Semoga Allah berkati usaha cikgu2 anak2 ni. I hope we had made a difference in the raya for the children if not in their lives.

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At Cinemas Near You

What's a school break without going to the movies?

Unfortunately it is not summer so the choice of movies is quite limited. We debated either to see Bolt the 3D movie or Bond on Quantum of Solace. Although I'd love to see Bond in action (and so would my husband) we went to see Bolt instead. I personally think Eirfan might be too young for a Bond exposure..

The older boys werent too excited about it - the theatre is full of kids! Macam tak macho gitu said my son. His other brother said, But this is definitely better than Bond - that movie orang gay je tengok (all of us go, Duh..? That young man memang have different ideas about things) I said, puhleeazzee.. I'll forgive anything but an insult of Bond! I (used to) love Sean Connery. Adore Pierce Brosnan and Roger Moore. Although I have yet to make up my mind about Daniel Craig.

After the movie ended I asked Eirfan if he knew whose voice it was playing Penny, the girl. He listened then guessed, Miley. Her voice is so distinctive - and he has been watching too many Hannah Montana.. But Bolt was funny. Sesuai la untuk movie cuti sekolah. The children (and the adults) would love it.

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Books, Books And More Books Part 8

I cant tell you betapa sedih nya buku ni. Even after finished reading it I can still cry over it.

I had it since July and only finished it now. I would have read it sooner if I knew it is that good. It is sad, moving, compelling yet with triumph. Sedih sangat wo.. Not my usual story line but it is so good.

And actually everyone I know reads it - my sister, my brother, my boss, my friend's friends. Yeah I exaggerate a bit there..

If you are looking for a good book to cry over, this is the book I'd recommend to you. A thousand times over.

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This November

I have been busy - at home that is. Everyone's home and that means a lot of meals have to be prepared; including in-beween meals as well. Otherwise the boys would complain that there is nothing to eat!

The office is a bit more quiet (or a lot more..?) The boss is away on her haj. Can I say yey..? So there is less of submissions of anything needed.

I am contented in a way. So I've got not much to write. As you well knew that the blog is where we go to whine and unwind. Maybe at this time I've got no whining to do and no unwinding needed..

So thanksgiving is gone (in the States that would be the last Thursday of November). I wanted to bake a turkey - lol- but I didnt prepare early enough so there is no turkey. Thanksgiving is a good time for me - dont get me wrong - but we did get married over a Thanksgiving weekend. So it always have good memories for me. I love autumn anyway with russet leaves on the branches and those floating in mid-air. Or even those that fly around when you drive fast over it (now that sort of reminds me of Zarina and myself driving to the office).

The collage above are my favorite things in fall, all courtesy of the internet of course. From top right is my fave (used to be) Denver Broncos american football quarterback. Seven is my fave number too. Bottom right is the masses of pumpkins in fall. Bottom left is the color of fall in the mountains and top left is my fave aspen leaves. Arent the colors gorgeous at fall?

So November is almost gone. Then it'll be December and hey - that's the end of another year. Do you know the mags said it is never to early (or too late depending on your perspective) to make resolutions?

This time I'm making a long list of my resolutions. I forgot this year's - that's why I'm writing it down this time. Have the greatest year end, everybody!

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Books, Books And More Books Part 7

So yeah, I finished this too this week. I am sitting an hour nightly with Eirfan so that he will read his book which means I have to read too. It makes it easier for him. Otherwise he'll rant about the unfairness of having to read while others are playing the PS or on the PC or browsing or watching tv ie simply not reading like he is basically being forced to.

This book is actually a sad tale about a young woman whose husband had passed away and she has to recover from the tragedy and her sadness and finding her way to start living again. It was a NY Times bestseller actually. Not entertaining in the "entertainment" way, but a joy to read nevertheless.

I suppose with the nightly reading ritual with the young man I'll be finishing a lot more books - at least till school opens again anyway.. So holler me if you want to borrow this. It's Iman's.

ps Ton, I'll give you the other books the next time we see each other.

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Books, Books And More Books Part 6

Suddenly the thought that came to mind is that the world is such a quiet place without books / reading. Tiada topik yang berlegar di minda. So I picked up a couple of books to read; one over the weekend (which I am still reading on and off) and the other, above, yesterday.

I had asked someone to lend me the book but I guess she forgot (I am sure she is feeling / looking sheepish when reading this). But it is alright; kita bukan malaikat. I bought this while out shopping with Iman on Sun. We were looking for some Malay books for Eirfan to read. His penulisan in Bahasa Melayu is deplorable. When asked he said, Bahasa Melayu tu susah la ma; English senang. What better time to rectify this if not during the school holidays?

Anyway I am getting side-tracked there. Surprisingly there is something in common between this book and my novels – I cant put them down. I wanted to finish the book last night (it was too compelling to put down) but it was late already.

I’d like to recommend the book to everybody actually; not just anyone who’s interested about the subject of haj. The experiences he had included in the book are just too potent to be isolated for haj alone. At times without realising it you too had tears in your eyes and on your cheeks.

I woke up a couple of times thinking I should do my sunat muakkad – Allah is waiting di langit yang bawah kepada hamba yang tersedar dari tidur yang nyenyak. And when I put my feet on the floor this morning, the first thought that came to mind is I should berdoa for – whatever I want to. I wish I could honestly say that syaitan would go “uh-oh, she’s awake!” like in the mail we had gotten. Insya’Allah, but maybe not today.

Bacalah buku ni. You wont regret it, trust me.

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So You Think You Can Dance?

This is old story - but I had to write about it..

It was raya celebration arranged by the office. For once, attendance is not mandatory but surprise, surprise yours truly decided to attend after all..

Each team had to put up a 10-minute performance and in the spirit of celebration we did a medley of 3 raya songs. The boss was the choreographer (we couldnt or wouldnt (?) have done it without her..)

We were all shy initially. I mean come on, I didnt ever do this when I was young and now I am not so young after all but here I am doing a performance on stage? But the boss was very persuasive. She had said, makan sama-sama; suka sama-sama; kalau malu pun sama-sama jugaklah. Hmm.. sounds fair enough.

We had a couple of practices. But at the end of the 3rd or 4th such sessions we were still confused what the steps are like - the choreographer kept changing the steps as we go along..

That evening we threw caution to the wind, we danced and sang as we like it. Memanglah berterabur.. There were about 30 of us on stage. Space could get so cramped.

And boy was I glad when the whole thing was over. We won first place (of course..) I'll do it again if I was forced to. But the world is a safer place without me in the showbiz.


We even had our very own version of the raya night fever..

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In Search Of Perfection - Too Foolish, Too Brave ?

So I am taking .. hmm.. 10 minutes (?) break to update this a bit while I munch on my egg mcmuffin..

I was reading my fave mag the other day when I came across an article on "your idea of a perfect day".

I wondered and mulled over my own version of a perfect day. I havent gone too far on that actually. But I've already jumped ahead (far too much ahead I would guess) and thought about the perfect life, perfect me, perfect house, perfect job..

And that's where this got me into trouble..

Whilst talking about THE perfect job, I have no doubt whatsoever this one I'm doing right now is not it.

So when I was asked to put whose name in what box on the new org chart I decided not to put my name anywhere on the piece of paper. Friends said, we dont think you are doing the right thing. My boss asked are you sure? I told them I am looking for the perfect job. At which they all chorussed, "dont we all?" or "does that concept even exist?"

I made a few calls. And so this morning I told my boss that I have made up my mind and that I dont want my name to appear in any of the boxes (I sincerely hope this is a right decision Insya'Allah).

I am thinking of pepatah melayu berakit-rakit ke hulu etc etc. Or maybe this is the case of the thinnest line between being brave and being foolish (?) Or even the pengebom berani mati, who for whatever intentions made foolish / brave / wise (?) sacrifices in search of betterments..

Wish me well please.

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Morning Wishes!

I was dressed and ready for the office at ten past six this morning. I dont know about you - but that's way too early for me.

My husband asked what's up? I said I cant sleep. Have too many things on my mind. Might as well I go to the office (duh..?) Breakfast? he asked. I declined - I had dinner maybe about 10 last night - had some stuff to finish in the office. I thought I still feel full.

I hang around the house till 6:30 then left. Got breakfast at McD drive thru. I fumbled through the breakfast order - I rarely order breakfast at McD and it shows - and I basically hate it when people fumble through their order at McD. I mean, what's so difficult about saying 1 meal no 1 medium and 2 meal number 7, large? (So now I know..)

So far so good. 3 down (getting to the office, get breakfast, blog a bit) and many more to go for the day. I plan to rant about something perfect, dreams, office updates but I think I'll leave that a little bit later.

Have a perfect day, everyone!

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Manjalara ku

I think for once I have a skema title for a post. Oh well..

I was excited about the weekend as I've signed up for a beading class with one of the.. wait.. Delinn, are you saying oh, oh, here she goes again at this point.. ? - takpa, let me continue with the story first.

I've signed up with a beading instructor whose work I adore (thank you Fatin for referring me to her fotopages). I tried to attend her class twice before but they were always full. Although I wasnt feeling too great on Sun I still went; and despite the fact people at home asked if I should really go too. Betapa teruja nya.. I thought if I dont feel too great during class I'll just make excuses to leave.

Needless to say I love the class and stayed the entire duration although it was an all day long session. Checkout my work, uh.. masterpiece (yele tu) for the day here.

It was more informative than the class I attended with the glamorous fashion designer (read the story here..)

So why the skema title? The instructor has a design she called bunga manjalara that is so gorgeous and I love so much and must have it on my baju.. he-he.

So Delinn nanti bila I pakai baju dengan bunga manjalara I tu (insya'Allah - I hate the word, never, forever and things like that - that dream baju could take eons to finish..) you jangan nak keek-keek-keek lagi.. Tapi kan, baju pun takde lagi - macam mana nak jahit..

ps - that's the manjalara I love so taken from noraini's fotopages of course..

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Sealing A Relationship

Last Fri I came home to find Eirfan hobbling around. I asked what happened to his foot. He said maybe I walked too much today. I said seriously? Then he changed his answer and said, maybe I sat too long. My no-nonsense-please look made him said, I ran in school, fell down and hurt my leg. Most likely answer.

He limped so badly that we took him to the clinic where the doctor said, if that toe is not broken then the tendon might have been injured (literally the doctor said, kalau jari tu tak patah, tendon dia putus. Brutal pulak doctor punya answer pun..)

He gave a referral letter for an xray at the hospital. We hang around at the hospital for the xray, for the doctor, for the specialist, for the bill. It was almost midnight by the time we left. The orthopaedic said Eirfan had fractured bones at his toe. Eirfan came home happy, though - he got an MC for two weeks!

Two days later he was leaving for tuition. I was late from the office so he had bandaged his foot on his own. It looked loose so I undid it and rebandaged it again for him. When done, I asked him is this ok or too tight? He said it is comfortable (his actual word was sedap-sedap je).

I asked, do you know why it is "sedap"? He said no, why? I said sebab mama buat bandage ni dengan kasih sayang. He grinned.

Later that night after his Isya' I bandaged his foot again and asked the same question. He replied, sebab mama buat dengan kasih sayang. We laughed together. I slept well that night.

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Wedding Lessons

I wonder why the tepak sirih is so crucial at any wedding..

& so they are married..

My niece got married over the weekend (in Bangi, where else? Our lives seem to always revolve in and around Bangi..)

Early Sat we had arrived at her place for the preparation. Nothing much to do except bunga rampai, bunga manggar and the bunga telur though. Everything else had been taken care of. We chat and be merry instead; nak meramaikan before the wedding.

On Sun the akad went on smoothly although a bit late than scheduled (Traffic jam kut? What else can we blame everything on?) The groom was nervous - he cant keep still and was twitching all over the place. The bride looked serene. The qadhi was informative and was quite a charm with his eloquent nasihat. But the oscar went to the mother of the groom - who cried (a lot! Duh..?) The mother of the bride had kept her cool.

I didnt get to asking my sister how many guests she had invited - the steady stream of people coming doesnt seem to recede. At 2 the caterer officially declared the last of the cendol had been served - to which the bride's father said, mana boleh? At 3 the caterer closed one of the buffet tables (because there isnt enough food to put there anymore). Isnt this scary for the host/hostess? The late comers had less lauk-pauk to feast on.. (bukan le takde langsung) Moral of the story is dont be late for any occassion - you'll miss the best parts.

My sister gave a big sigh after all the visitors gone home and said, I am going for a long vacation after this (her other daughter had gotten married earlier in May).

And yes, I keep my eyes and ears open on these occassions - mana tau, esok lusa tiba-tiba you all dapat jemputan plak dari I.. muah-ha-ha...

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Forging Ahead

So raya has been here - and gone.

The office decorations finally came down. The pretty linen at home are cleaned and kept. The silverware are already where they belong. And the kain sampin all cleaned and hanging again in the closet.

It had been nice while it lasted . Giving us an excuse to visit - if we ever need an excuse in the first place anyway. And of course for us to be gluttons over food.

There is something about raya that gives you a purpose in the month of Syawal. And of course Ramadhan is always special and beautiful. Now it is Zulkaedah and it is time again to find a purpose in this month. Wish everyone a great month ahead.

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Ramblings Of A Beautiful Creation Called Woman

Thank you Zana for the sms that reads like this :

"A woman has strength that amazes men. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when she's happy and laughs when she's afraid. Her love is unconditional! There's only one thing wrong with her, she sometimes forget what she's worth.."

It is somewhat invigorating - but at the same time made me feel sad - in a way. Dont we wish we WILL scream when we feel like it. And not smile.

That we will cry the moment the tears welled in our eyes instead of waiting when we are alone and then cry our hearts out in a secluded corner somewhere?

Or that we do feel conditional love; with every conceivable strings attached.

Dont we at times wish we are just as weak as a new born kitten and leave to fate to take care of everything.

Or wish that the jigsaw puzzle called LIFE would just fall neatly into its place..

I dont know about you - but I do.

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Living Life In The Slow Lane

I went over to the mall earlier. Got a couple of stuff at Jusco and then made my way slowly through the shops.

Body Shop doesnt have the marketing strategy to make me want to buy its night cream, eye cream or anti-aging cream although I was looking for something along that line..

Vincci bags and shoes looked uninspiring.

MPH has lots of beautiful magazines. Vogue says Reese has a new man, new life. Yeah, ok.. Mawi & Ikin berahsia menunggu hari bahagia. Whatever. Wan NorAzlin buang malu demi anak-anak. Good for her. Impiana? Next. Laman? I'll pass.

And books are aplenty here also. Devereaux? So dated. Sidney Sheldon? Been there. Judith McNaught? Done that. I picked up the book Duchess. It looked interesting - but I've sworn off novels for now. I'll keep that in mind instead. And those delicious ones by Dan Brown - I never finished his book - not even the Da Vinci Code.. Ok, let's run along now..

Poh Kong's bangles and rings designs seem all wrong. Its charmed bracelet couldnt charm a smile out of me..

And there is nothing at Guardian either.

What? Nothing interesting or anything to buy at the mall? That must be a first. I told my daughter it must be the age.

When I got home the smart guy said, cepat nya balik (it felt like rubbing salt on the wound). I blame the ultra sensitivity on age too.

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Books, Books And More Books Part 5

There is the thing about food binge; but book binge-ing?

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I did that I suppose when I finished this last night before sleep. The author also writes The Devil Wears Prada. I simply LOVE the movie and had watched that maybe 3 or 4 times.

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But nevertheless I think this particular book falls short of my expectations. It dwells too much on the characters instead of what's happening. Maybe in a movie that would be fab; exactly like in the devil and prada..

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I'm giving chick-lit and recreational reading a rest for a while now while I explore other recreations / non-recreational stuff..

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Not Really An Anti-Social

Not that I am a recluse - but I really like to sit at home all quiet and at peace.

But I love last night, we had company for raya and it was really nice. Thank you to you, you and you who had been so nice to come over to my place. It's not about food but company instead.

As I waved everyone off I told my husband - well those are the only people I want to invite for raya (but thinking about it again I do have other people I'd love to have over for raya also).

But my idea of raya do or any get-together has always been a small group of friends with common interests coming together for laughs, great conversation and of course bonding. I suppose that is what raya is all about anyway - bonding aka silaturrahim.

We must do something like this again (unfortunately there is no photo..)

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Books, Books And More Books Part 4

And no, I dont do this just to make Delinn jealous.

I picked up the book when I was down with the rashes. Of course I cant put it down once I've started - and had it finished within the day. And of course nothing else gets moving in the house while I read (but I dont presume anyone expects me to do anything - I am just not well.. ). Although I got dinner - we went to McD's drivethru!

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A nice book and I'd recommend it. But if you do read it, make sure you have lots of Kleenex ready beside you. You are definitely going to need them. Lots of them.

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Books, Books And More Books Part 3

Finished this a couple of weeks back; within the first few days of raya actually.

Being true to a promise I made to myself, I ignored the temptation of picking up any of my typical novel all through Ramadhan. Melalaikan.. So by Syawal I am like an addict looking for a fix. ha-ha.

As usual once I started I would never be able to put the book down till I closed the last page. Sigh. A pretty engrossing read actually. Read the book review here. This is her first book that I've read. And she has quite a few. So I guess there is a new author I could follow.

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Wishes May Just Come True

I wouldnt mind being a nurse if all my patients look like this everytime.. and yes, I do get distracted by a handsome face anytime.. (there's Brad and George and Richard..)

Anyway. Let's keep that story for another day.. There is one orang putih line that goes, be careful of what you wish - you might get more than what you have bargained for. I guess that came true for me..

I wanted to stay home and memerap last weekend. I just didnt feel up to socializing and be nice and make small talks. I avoided all raya invitations except the one on Fri evening at a neighbor's - I HAD to do that. And the other at my sister's place in Bangi - it was raya makan2 with some family discussions, so I HAD to do that also. The few others I had declined much earlier citing prior engagements..

Past midnight Sat I knew something was wrong. I had measles-like rashes and my God, arent they scratchy. Cant sleep. So we went to see the doctor. Allergies - as we had expected. Must have been something I ate. Went home, took a couple of the tablets and dozed right off.

Sat I did the Bangi do. Had to (although I did parade the rashes on my arms - meraih simpati from my sisters..).

I dozed on and off on Sun. I didnt sleep till morning on Mon. The tablets didnt work although I took extra (can I / should I have done that?) The rashes were bad. I felt like I was lying and thrashing on a bed of lalang.

So went to see my fave doctors today (whose clinic isnt open after 10pm on any day) and told her my woeful rashes tale. She gave me more ubat with strict instructions. Yang ni lebih kuat she said. And she gave me a couple of days to recover too. I wonder if yippee is the right response at this time; considering my scratchy red arms and legs..

So the moral of the story is yes, be careful of what you wish for. I had to memerap for the last 2 days like it or not. And had only ubat for company. Aint the mighty have fallen..

*****

She Did What?!!

So here I am blogging and reading cute posts on the blogs and then suddenly -- screeeech, crash, kaboom !! - what the..?


You had access control on your blog (yes you - you know who you are!) & you dont include me in your invitee list??

(.. thinking .. thinking some more..)

Well, maybe I had posted some bad comments once. Or twice. Seriously? You mean there were more? Ooopss..

And maybe sometimes I read but I dont post anything. I mean what do I know about geng reban ayam (..? err .. is that something like geng bas sekolah on tv? ) or whatever vibrations - ooohh - the gegar functions you have. Or even about deo.

But I demand that you put my name in that list now. That's it. Thank you. You take care now. Bye-bye then.

(& I'll be checking on the progress of this..)

*****

Dull, Dull, Dull

I was going to moan about how bad traffic had been all through this week. Both mornings and evenings. It had rained every evening which of course affected the traffic in the city. I wouldnt want to complain about the torrential rain - itu rezeki.

Maybe I should move to Sintok or Changlun or Ko'diang or kawasan yang sama waktu dengan nya - then the sky can open up and pour water down but it wouldnt affect traffic all that much - would it, girls-in-Changlun-Sintok-Ko'diang? (Macam London-Paris-NY gitu. Or almost)

But who wants to read about the traffic anyway? So I decided not to write about that (although I have already said all I wanted to say on the subject anyway.. )

And since my life is so dull, I dont have anything else to write about either. So, cheerio everyone - until things brighten up a bit around here / me.

... I wonder if I should stay home or go out and meet people this weekend, starting from tonight. We have invitation for raya this evening - and of course tomorrow and Sun (now where is that coin.. heads I will go out and mingle a bit, tails I will stay put at home..)

*****

Yeah, Blackmail Works Too

I dont know about you, but when I was a kid and then did or say something out of line, my mum would give me an earful about it. Then she'd go on about the next thing that comes to her mind and then the next and the next..

And so growing up I convinced myself one way or another that lecturing is not the way to make the children behave (although I do behave despite - or inspite - of the lectures; it's just that fun is taken out of the whole process..) And I dont know what is the 'correct' way of instilling disciplines (if there is a correct way anyway..) I suppose it is personal parenting style.

Case study :
Last raya I hunted high and low for a suitable shirt for my son. I asked the abangs to get one for him but they didnt. I went to Metro but didnt find it. I went to Studio R, didnt find it either. I went to Nike, Adidas. Zip. I went to Jusco - and finally found something that looked quite decent. I pondered until Iman said mama let's just get it. And we did - finally. (And I must emphasis that I am not that choosy over boys' clothes - ever)

On hari raya my son wore something else - I asked him why isnt he wearing the shirt I had bought? He said it is black, it is a hot day, I dont like black, and mumbled other things I dont remember.. I said yang, do you know what I went through to get that shirt for you? & I told him. Lastly I said, tak nak pakai baju tu pun tak pe - mama masih doa bahagia dunia & akhirat (the drama queen that I am..)

My son laughed but fetched the shirt and put it on anyway despite it being black, it is a hot day and he didnt like black... blah..blah..

I suppose if there would be names to the styles of parenting, mine would definitely be emotional blackmail..

*****

Emotional Blackmail, Maybe?

So the final exams are almost here. Eirfan has many extra classes by the tuition teacher to polish things up. What a blessing actually as I do not think he does enough revision on his own.

Last Fri he asked if he could play the games on PC (which means he will be playing games on the internet.) I sometimes wish his abang will take that fast and furious PC back to college. Being a design student at college he needs that kind of performance on the PC but when at home, I find it is just a nuisance because all the adiks love it. Especially so Eirfan as it means playing games is such a delight. His eyes would be glued on the screen and he will not even twitch on the chair for hours.

I lost my temper Sun evening because he played all through the weekend and had forgotten about his homework. He had tuition that evening till 10 and only started his homework after that. Wouldnt you be losing your temper too?

So when I scolded him, he had tears trickling the corner of his eyes (dia anak bongsu.. He always insist he wasnt crying when this happens, air mata je keluar he said. Duh..)

I complained to his father - he didnt do his homework till Sun night, I get mad, I scolded him, he cried then I felt guilty over the whole thing - where are my rights?!! He laughed.

*****

Celebrating Raya

And I am sort of like in a I-am-not-going-to-lift-my-little-finger-to-do-anything mood today.

The children had some (ah well maybe 40 or so) friends over for raya makan-makan yesterday evening. So I had been cooking and was busy all day yesterday.

I had planned to start everything very early. I had gone and do the shopping on Fri evening; but the shelves were almost empty and the stuff I was looking for are all gone or have wilted beyond recognition. So I had to visit pasar tani after all.

Later that evening my brother told me that he'll be taking my mum home a little later than planned so I could visit with mum before he leaves (I told him I would if he werent going at an ungodly pre-dawn hours). Humph.. but a promise is a promise and anyhow I like to try to be a bit more conscientious where mum is concerned.

After the pasar and that trip to Cheras it was almost noon by the time I started on the food preparation (tapi nak masak macam-macam..); despite planning on starting early. Talk about Murphy's Law..

But anyhow by the time the kids arrived in the evening, things are actually done. The pizzas were ready to go into the oven, the laksa and curry mee were served. Ketupat, lemang, nasi impit, kuah kacang and rendang were nicely arranged together. The brownies were waiting to be iced and fruits are nicely cooling in the fridge.

Ilyas had managed to get a few additional tables (from the surau! How resourceful..) And the drizzle that came down steadily all afternoon did finally let off at Maghrib. Alhamdulillah.

I went upstairs at 11 (it had been a long day for a makcik with muscle spasms like me) after making sure that the children have enough to eat and that the rush for food is finally over. They were sitting drinking and talking instead of gobbling down food.

When I came down this morning, the dishes were drying, the counters clean, the chairs nicely stacked. I asked my husband if he were responsible for all that (he came back late after teh tarik session last night). He said no, when he came back all things were done.

... & I thought I have really nice children and that I really had trained them well... ha-ha.

So today here I am browsing through my magazine, blogging, watching tv.. not lifting much of anything at all.

*****

An Oozy Chocolate Evening

And I could be sooo terrible sometimes.

While I was sitting in the office yesterday I felt this compulsive need to have some chocolate cake oozing with luscious chocolate sauce.. (I was fasting actually).

After dinner I gathered all the cake ingredients and since I didnt have any cream, I begged someone who was kind enough to get me the stuff. Later on I discovered I was out of eggs too. Humph.. With a stern warning, I will not go to the shops again after this, the kind man went on his way again to get the eggs.

By the time the cake was taken out of the oven it was already half past ten. I had baked the cake in a fluted baking tin. I flipped the cake over and then the fluted cake became - not : it broke into 2 big chunks (that's what I get for being impatient, I should have waited for it to cool down some more).

I cut the - disreputable - cake into chunks and generously dribble the chocolate sauce over it. Yum. It was rich and creamy and the cake was light and still warm.

But.. I think when my niece made the same cake it tasted nicer (maybe beause it had looked nicer and more presentable too!)

It was late, I didt get any photos of the cake but you can get the recipe here..

*****

One For The Kids

And there are times that I would ask myself, what were you thinking? (or better yet, why werent you thinking?)

I followed a friend to a bakery supplies warehouse yesterday as she wanted to get some stuff. On a whim I told her I'll take a box of the pizza base for myself.

I took the BIG box home and put it in front of my open fridge and then paused. Now how would I fit all that stuff in there? Too late to start thinking now.. because by hook or by crook they all need to fit inside. And after a lot of rearranging, they all finally did fit in nicely, though tightly.

I counted and I actually have 17 pizzas in there. Large pizzas, mind you.

My son had told me his friends had asked when they can come over for raya. Last year we had a makan2 for them and served pizza with the more traditional dishes. This year they are asking for the same stuff. I dont mind cooking for the kids, kesian raya2 ni kampung entah mana-mana. Balik raya pun sekejap je.

So I suppose it is destiny that I will be hosting a raya feast for a big bunch of college kids this weekend..

*****

Inspiration Vs Mum-thing

And while browsing on the net and reading other blogs I got to thinking I am such a dull person..

I write about nothing but things that happen within my own window of life.. I'd like to swap that tiny window with a great portal and provide insight and inspiration to - well, anything and everything - which comes to mind about somebody and everybody and in the end nobody - generalisation never work. That I have found out since eons ago.

If you are confused about this then good. Because so am I.

I need to get to the kitchen; we are having soto for the visitors today.. (see ? back to the same old me..) Inspiration and the world will just have to take the backseat. I need to go cook and get the laundry done. lol.

*****

This Is Eid

I suppose it is not too late to wish everyone a joyful eid on the 4th of Syawal.

We survived the 3 days seeing, meeting everyone - except my sister who is celebrating eid at her own place, my brother who went back to Johor, the other sister (I never found out what happened to her actually) and a couple of aunt/uncle.

Raya in Bangi wasnt too bad after all. The table creaked with the weight of food that everyone brought for the potluck. My mum seemed happy enough (which is all that matters) although she didnt celebrate raya at her own place. Thanks to my sister; things are never dull when she takes charge.

Raya at the in-laws wasnt that bad either (can you believe that coming from me..?) We are never short of visitors. But I did bring a book to read (just in case things get a little bit too rough..)

And we were surprised to see traffic was quite heavy heading back towards the city yesterday evening. Nevertheless the flow was alright, thank god for the newly completed third lane all the way from Slim River. We stopped at the R&R for prayers - it was full of people; but I am somewhat blessed - the toilets are decently clean.. (unmaintained toilets is one of my many many many pet peeves..)

But on the 4th day of Syawal I am thinking if Ramadhan has actually left the desired impact on me. Have I changed in any subtle way if not drastically?

*****

26th Ramadhan 1429

And suddenly I am feeling blue on the last working day prior to raya. The office has been like the Sentral Station at peak hours (I was going to say Paddington Station actually..) - lots of activities, full of noise.

A bunch of guys came over in baju melayu and songkok to take pictures at our elaboratedly decorated office (yours truly was put in charge of the raya office decoration - thank god for gifted people on the team; I am saved!) The decorating is still on-going. There are raya songs playing all over. Still there are people working.

Had received loads of raya email. Maybe that's the culprit for this melancholy feeling. & what's not to be melancholy about - we are celebrating raya at Bangi - duuhh.. Have a great weekend to everyone reading this - mine is definitely going to be packed.

*****

Putting Things Into Perspectives

And talking about the burst pipes.. (the post below..)

So while running in and out of the house to turn on the mains when I need water and turning it off again when I am done, I thought what a hassle the whole incident is. The dirty clothes heaped like no one's business (except mine, of course), cooking cant be done properly and the ration applies in the bathroom too..

But it came to mind that Fatimah ra fetched water herself. When she went to Rasulullah saw to ask for someone to help her with the housework, Rasulullah said something like to do the tasks herself would be best for her. So I guess I really shouldnt complain about things..

*****

10 Days Before Syawal

.. And how time simply flies!

I've finished the kuih raya (except the cornflakes that I really must make!) And cleaned all corners of the bedroom. And washed the curtains.

And along the way the water pipe burst and the porch got flooded. The pipe was replaced. The engineer finally solved the problem after a couple of days - turned out pebbles had blocked the flow of the water. That created havoc with my washings and cooking. Then Eirfan had a big accident with his seluar sekolah ugama and the shops got no uniforms of that color. I sew a couple pants for him. Eirfan kata seluar ni special ma - sebab tak de zip. LOL..

But now I still have to put the beads on the curtain tie back. Got to check my baju raya (I hope it will be ready by raya). And then clean the rest of the house.. ugh, help. And then suddenly Iman's friend wanted some cookies by Sunday..

I still need to visit my mum who's already here in Bangi since last weekend. Need some tudung. Need to get songkok for Eirfan. Need to get a dress for my niece. And there is the blah.. blah..

I havent finished my Ramadhan goals yet either.. Where did the month go?

*****

Ramadhan al-Mubarrak

In a blink of an eye it is already the 20th of Ramadhan. And here I am still thinking if I am ready for the last 10 days of the month and the lailatul-qadr.

I had set goals for the Ramadhan and at the rate I am going I doubt I'll achieve what I had planned to do.

Nevertheless I am happy to say that this year we are most careful about the food - we bought only kuih - for the kids and me (!!) - I cant imagine iftar without some sort of kuih on the table. But the kids said the kuih keria has too much flour in it; the lepat pisang has got no inti kelapa and buah melaka mama lagi sedap. And along the way the kuih koci and kasui made their exit to the *cough, cough..* bin.

On my worst days we had kicap telur; which actually was quite a change from the usual chicken. Still, fried chicken with onions, garlic, ginger and ketumbar remains the champion throughout the month.

I am hoping also I wont be too occupied with raya preparations that I'd forget Ramadhan is actually the month to 'celebrate'. With the best 10 days of Ramadhan to go I guess it is not too late to wish full speed ahead in this most blessed month.

*****

Tantrum AT Dawn (Ugh..)

Things seem to go wrong after Fajr today. I realised I forgot to take my iron supplement. Neither did I take the muscle spasm medications. The traffic were too slow. People kept wanting to change lane in front of me. The traffic lights took too long to change. Pedestrians cross when I got to the junction. The police didnt know how to manage the traffic..

If the sun were already shining I'm sure I would find fault with the rays, its brightness, its shape! God forbid..

But Faizal Tahir sang my fave Kasih Tercipta and Ahmad Jais rendered the best of the best raya song. And I tried hard to manage my - let's call it my tantrum. Let's hope the day turn out better Insya'allah..

*****

Raya Is Coming

For once I am writing ahead about the weekend; instead of reminiscing about it.

Tomorrow I am thinking of making some biskut raya. I dont want to wait till too late. Surprises might spring my way and turn all carefully laid raya preparation plans go awry.

The boys' baju melayu arrive via courier today. Isnt that cool? I never thought that kind of arrangement could be done. We made the baju the last time we went home. We thought we might have to go pick them up personally but when we called Abang Mat (the tailor) yesterday he said he could send those stuff via the delivery express. We said cool (I know I am repeating myself, but I really, really think it is cool). & they are already here today! Eirfan said, cantiknya baju Eirfan, when he tried it on just now and then asked, mama pergi ambik tadi ke? I laughed and said not a chance yang - not when I had to go to the office too.

And I need to pick up the curtain tiebacks and the floor cushion tommorrow. I plan to put some tassle like beads on them. So I had some work there.

I am also thinking of putting up new raya lights. People at home asked why? I said I hate to see the same thing every raya. I'll think of something this weekend about that.

And my sisters have called and said they might drop by this weekend to learn how to make - or maybe to watch me make - pineapple tarts. They have been looking high and low for those for raya. I told them buat sendiri je lah. I had learnt this a couple of months (?) back maybe. Since I am talking about that, I should share that recipe with you I think. Click here; if it is not there yet, come back soon - I'm sure I will put it up very, very soon.

I suppose from here on the days will be filled with lots more raya things.

*****

Playing A Concerto

When I am in a crazy mood or a blues mood or feeling-lonely mood or etc I would occassionally tune to the classical music on the radio or astro. Unfortunately the dj never did mention what the song titles are or who the are the composer or the orchestra that's playing. So I am none the wiser about the classicals.

And I had a classmate from the Latin America once and during class introduction he said his favorite songs are by Wagner. We all chorused, who?? We can barely say Mozart or Bach or Beethoven - back then the only Wagner I knew was Lindsay Wagner.. you know the uh, Bionic Woman..?

Anyway.

Today / Yesterday (it makes not much difference) it crossed my mind that the boss is something akin to the composer of an orchestra. He will orchestrate the performance of all his men. Bad his orchestration, bad will the performance be and vice versa. And I suppose that's why much credit is given to the composer - the ability to harmonise all pieces of the instruments into a melodious tune; not a cacophony.

Unfortunately the same desired effect is not apparent in my office. The hall is packed with so-called musicians and the conductor is frantically waving his stick in all and every direction (oh look, did he drop his stick?) All the musicians are trying their best to follow suit but getting the wrong signals and at the end of the day we'd all say, what the hell??

So I am asking (to no one in particular actually) what is the tune that the boss is actually playing? Please compose it well so I might be able to strum my guitar / beat the drum / blow the sax / play the piano to that particular tune. Otherwise I might get on with the music in tandem with my own tune..

Maybe I should share this bulb of light with the boss.. (as if..)

*****

In Love For The Very First Time

My children are discovering first loves.

They talk endlessly on the phone. They smile and giggle and laugh while talking on the phone. They disappear to the mall without prior notice to me. They come home late. They need girlish birthday presents. They make commitmments I never see them do before. They got pretty presents. I got presents..

When I complained to my husband he said airily, dont you remember when we were in love? I said oh pleeeaase, I cant believe how foolish I was! (ha-ha..)

Simply put, the kids drive me nuts sometimes. Err.. none of you are reading these, are you yang..?

*****

Sunny Morning At My Fave Pasar

I was at the pasar tani (of course, where else? I should do a count and see how many times I have mentioned the pasar tani in my blog..) two weekends ago when I saw that plant above. It looked like something I know - and want - and quickly picked it up (so that the other makcik looking at the plants dont get to it first, he-he..)

I asked the adik, ini pokok apa? He said Rosemary. Just as I thought. The other makcik said pokok ni yang banyak bunga tu ke? I said I dont know. She said buat ulam ke? I said it is a herb. She went ohh.. (clearly she doesnt know her herbs.. naughty, but I cant resist that..)

Happily I took my rosemary home and put it in front of my kitchen window (ala Jamie who picks his herb from the sill whilst cooking.. perasan). But one and a half week after that (today) the rosemary looks wilted and not so healthy anymore. I knew it wouldnt last too long when I bought it..


And whilst at the markets I met Sue who said Zah, wah.. your bakul (the above is the culprit) macam.. (I cant remember the exact expression but it seem like macam glam gitu..) I kept telling people this is the bakul susu when my youngest was a baby. But then again, it might be me not the bakul you know.. LOL..

Anyway. This reminds me of Zarina too - who would laugh at my bakul. Whatever it is, the bakul stays. And for whatever reasons unbeknown to me my husband dont really want to carry the bakul at the pasar.

Actually I have set my eyes on one particular shopping bag but the store had run out of stock since forever. But I am still waiting. We used to have a trolley but the wheels had came off after only using it twice (with the kind of stuff we buy at the pasar it is no wonder that that happens!)

*****

The Good Old Days

The office had been somewhat cold all through Ramadhan. Someone had said that it almost seem like autumn. We had all laughed then.

But it was definitely chilly all day today. Looking out the big office window, it was bright and sunny outside. I opened the window trying to get some heat from outside. The hot air was somewhat comforting. It nevertheless do remind me of autumn.

We would have thick sweaters on or even winter coats if we were not too embarrassed by the raised eyebrows from the mat sallehs (maybe they thought we were wimps wearing thick clothes when it was barely October). And we would declare the weather cold. They, haughtily would remark "Cold? This is not cold. It is but a little bit chilly." We would drink hot coffee outside in the sun during our break and just enjoy the heat like any ordinary mat salleh would do. Ah well, when in Rome..

And the aspen leaves would be quaking in the wind and be all golden. The hills would be yellow with only patches of green. There would be a nip in the air and involuntarily you would shiver against the weather.

And yes, it would definitely be chilly..

*****

Ramadhan & Foods

These are the cookbooks I have collected thus far (memang saja la kalau tak memasak..)

I spent half of yesterday morning dusting and rearranging my cookbooks. And I actually wondered what it is about Ramadhan that inspires me to do that. I guess if we had a survey done, it would show that more recipes are traded during Ramadhan, more cookbooks are bought and more hits are recorded on the cooking websites.

And again this year I promise myself that we will not rampantly buy things at the pasar Ramadhan. We will cook all meals unless it is strictly unavoidable. Let's hope it is not unavoidable like every other day..

I wondered also when did we start the pasar Ramadhan which makes the month so synonym with food, food and more food. We can think of any food then go to the pasar and actually find it sold there. I have had bad experiences with the food at the pasar though - the ikan bakar that tasted like it has been left outside the fridge for too long; the stale chicken; the agar-agar pandan that tasted like egg yolk; the buah melaka coated with hampas kelapa.. And many others that made their way to the bin in the evening. And these arent cheap either..

Kalau balik terkejar-kejar kemudian masak kicap telur untuk berbuka; the meal will taste even better than some of the food found at the pasar (hari ni mungkin balik masak kicap telur..).

*****

Life

It has been the dullest week ever - despite the fact that I just came back from a week-long leave. Problem management aka solution operations aka customer support is not what fun is made of, dear friends; let me tell you that (Gosh, where is that bespoken passion? But oh wait, have I ever had it in the first place..?)

There was a makan-makan in the office yesterday; celebrating nothing actually; just for the fun of it. And although I was in the office this morning I decided to take the rest of the day off after all citing my poor teeth as the culprit.

I did pay the dentist a visit and had a couple of fillings done. The dentist as previously, hid his face behind the mask. I am glad; it is a bit unsettling to be staring up into his eyes while he prod into my cavity (ha-ha.. sempat jugak tu) and worked on the filling. Most of the time the pain made me close my eyes anyway (psst.. I hate dentists; it's nothing personal - it's just their profession..)

If PW were in my place, she might get into a fit over the dentist I'd guess.

Oh, and I did some raya shopping actually. And I wondered what is it about raya that makes us (me?) go into the overdrive about shopping.

Ustaz kata we must learn to celebrate the Ramadhan more instead of Syawal.. And yeah, I went to the ceramah the other day. The ustaz was nice (nice? cant find a more befitting vocab in this instance and too lazy to bother with the thesaurus etc), enligtening, fun. He was most gentle when quoting the gentler gender. He made us laugh with his examples (no dumb jokes from him) and his doa brought tears to the eyes.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan al-Mubarrak. Maaf zahir & batin.

*****

Paradise In The Backyard

And while we were in Taiping, we went up the Maxwell Hills (not that I dont like the name Bukit Larut, but the hills have always been Maxwell Hills since I was small. Even my mum who is English-illiterate calls it Bukit Maxwell). The last time I was there was maybe like thirty or so years ago.. (which is ages ago; even for someone my age). The top photos were taken at the foot of the hills while we waited for our ride.

We had the tickets and sped (sped? We couldnt have sped - the road is worse than ular kena patuk - the turns are sharp and up-climbing.) You cant drive up in your own vehicle - you have to take the jeeps in service (it has to be a four-wheeler. The standard sedans wont be able to go up the hill without the extra traction). We stopped at 1036 m above sea level. You can only go further up if you have reservations for any of the chalet up the hill.

I love the weather at the top. Cool and yet sunny and hot too at times when the clouds move out of the sun. That day it was a bit cloudy and windy so it was very cool. Cooler than Cameron I would think. The plants are beautiful. It is a shame though that plants / flowers are not abundant. It would have been more gorgeous.

We had tea and sandwiches at one of the cafes. It is where tulips are found when in season. Unfortunately it is not in season now. If you want to see the tulips you should go in Nov and Dec. But I wonder if it is the rainy season then - because watch out, the roads would be slippery and traction would be a challenge.

Going down was scary or thrilling; depending on your perspective. Mine told me it was scary. It made us a bit dizzy too. So if you are susceptible to mabuk kereta, make sure you come well prepared.

It was a nice trip - we are thinking we should make reservations in time for the tulips..

*****

Books, Books And More Books Part 2 - Catching Up With 'Ilm

At times I managed to convince myself that I do need to read some serious books and in fact this time, I even managed to finish a more serious book as such.

Do you find that sometimes you read with your heart and at other times only with your head (if you know what I mean..) ? And that sometimes facts could be staring straight into your eyes but you arent ready for them and therefore you just dont get them ? Do you uh, get me here?

I actually find this subject difficult but subhanallah, I do admire his mind, his knowledge, his kesedaran and himself for writing this book.

*****

Mummy Dearest

So I am back in town - since last night actually. I spent the last 5 days with my mum - I am supposed to be mum-sitting. But seem like my mum "sits" me too. Planning meals etc for us although much of the cooking was done by us.

It was a bliss going on a week-long leave.. although the boss' reprimand "make sure you answer your phone when I call you!" made me jump and grabbed the phone everytime it rang. Fortunately, none of the calls were from him.

No matter how nice kampung is, it is always a relief to get back to our very own home, dont you agree? And yet I am always exasperated when my own mum insists that she wants to return home whenever she is in town. Our usual argument is ada apa kat kampung? We are all here (well most of us anyway) And mum will always say; but that is my house. And she always win these arguments anyway.

On this visit she looks cheerful and happy. Although complains that the prescription the orthopaedics gave her made her sleepy and lethargic.. pause.. I actually cannot put my feelings about mum into words.

*****

For The World, For Us

I went to Gardens to get a save the earth tshirt for Eirfan. I looked all over the place but cant find what I am looking for. The sales assistant wasnt too sure what I was asking for at first. After more digging up on her part I found that the particular promotion didnt start until the end of the week (so eager was I to support the Isetan's green campaign..)

Needless to say that I went back again to Gardens to get the tshirt. When I gave it to Eirfan I told him what it is all about. I hope he gets the picture and that sense of responsibility I hope to inculcate.

I recycle my cans, bottles, plastics and paper. It made some mess in the kitchen with all the stuff - but I tell everyone we have to live with that. So far everyone's with me (like they have a choice in the matter, right?)

I decline plastic bags whenever possible and I take my loyal raga (which amuses Zarina so much) to the pasar tani. When my celphone battery went kaput, I asked how I should dispose of it - and was laughed at by a colleague.. I used bio-degradable detergent (but since the latest price hike, I dont think I can afford that anymore.. sigh..) And I prefer paper plates from foams.

So on occassions, you might say I am like Maya Karin.. ehem.. (claps and wolf whistles are welcomed at this point..) who is an ambassador for the green / save the environment campaign.

So dear friends, do you recycle?

*****

At The Olympics

Well, I'm not about to bore you with the medal counts. You can get that from anywhere.

I caught Blake vs Gonzalez in the tennis men's singles semis - which turned out great despite the loss to Blake. I said to no one in particular that the men looked smart in their attires whereas the women players are a bit dress-ier (over-dressed?). But someone said, they look cantik. Ok...

We watched badminton later and the girls were wearing skirts - they look good actually instead of the shorts like some of the other girls do wear. And we caught women's soccer too. Ugh pleeeaazze.. their uniforms are terrible; and with their hair, you cant tell if it is the women's or men's soccer.

And the swimmers have got more clothes than before - with the previous trends from small to minute bikinis, I'd expect them to go into g-strings this year.. ha-ha.. But apparently not; their bottoms are even longer this year; the same goes to the male swimmers (how unfortunate, I said loudly; and got unbelievable stares for my effort..)

But did you notice the women runners / athletics? The size of their numbers on the chest are even bigger than that of their track bottom..

Tennis, swimming (minus the synchronised swimming though), gymnastics are among my favorites events. I think synchronised swimming is silly; put there to attract attention. The same goes with beach volleyball too, with their skimpy bikinis.

But anyway I think the opening was spectacular although our team could do without the garish yellow outfits.. (we look like we are from Africa or something..)

*****

Here, Now

I am currently engrossed in a 'finding purpose in work' kind of book. I suppose I havent found (or have lost?) the purpose in work - ha-ha..

"We are here to learn lessons, and the world is our teacher - when we fail to learn a lesson, we get to take it again and again. But once we've learned the lesson, we move on to the next one".

"Your life is a perfect reflection of your beliefs - when you change your deepest beliefs about the world, your life changes accordingly".

My personal quote of the day : "To be happy is to be content and to embrace life as it is here and now".

I'll put up more stuff once I'm done with the book. ps - at this moment in time, the world looks like a bright rainbow; full of color and promise..

*****

Baffled, Frustrated, Redha

I was told I was being honest at the wrong time and the wrong place. I dont understand at all how being honest could be wrong at any time, any place. Do you?

I am actually venting my frustration because I was told I failed the interview because I was - you guessed it - being honest!

My interviewers should have seen that as a virtue and if they dont, I dont think I should work with them anyway.. (and work where I am now..? Allah help me please!)

Furthermore, they shouldnt see that as a weakness and in fact together with my other strengths viewed me as the most suitable candidate! But if it was not meant to be, then it is not meant to be. That's all there is to it.

*****

Reminiscing The Weekend

Sat dawned bright and sunny and I wondered if I would attend the wedding in Kajang. It seemed like a long way to go and traffic is always predictably messy in MRR2 and Kajang on Sat. But we went nevertheless thinking that well, thinking that we should. Whilst eating, my hubby asked how old is the host as he seemed too young to have a daughter who's getting married. What a compliment I said although I dont know his age.

We took a detour to Ulu Langat (yeah I know - again - we went there like a couple of weeks ago) to get durians, of course. We specifically looked for durian tembaga at a stall by the river this time. And what scrumptious durians we found! We ate some by the river and took more home. Pulasan and cempedak and rambutan found their way to the car boot too. The children simply love the fruits.

I went to the tailor and said help! I need a couple of baju raya. And she said, why so late lah? But she accepted anyway. I also went to get the tiebacks made for the curtains and a couple of cushions (raya is round the corner, kan?)

I tried a brand new recipe I learnt recently, the cheese tartlets. It didnt look too pretty although tasted really tasty. And it didnt turn out too nicely too once I've freezed it. And - I had bought 2kg of cream cheese (because the cheese doesnt come in smaller packaging). Now what would I do with the rest of that cheese?

We went to Ikea on Sun. But there were too many small kids there - they sort of spoiled the trip somewhat - they screamed and ran around with the small trolleys.. But I got new dishes - its blue color simply mesmerised me into taking them home.

That darn hill I always walked up seem ever challenging than before last weekend. I almost gave up but I preservered and made it to the top nevertheless (with chopping breaths, mind you).

After dinner I asked my hubby if I could have a cup of coffee. Eirfan said, kesian kat bapak. I told him he is a chauvinist, he never pity me slaving over the pans and hot stove..

That night Eirfan said ma I need to go get my hair cut. His abang always take him to these trips and he always ended up with hair not short enough to satisfy his teachers. Abang said when too short his hair would look like Abu Bakar Yalla (if you remember who he is). When I took him to the bathroom to snip off his hair he said mama tau ke nak potong rambut ni? When we finished he said mama tau rupanya. I said of course la, I am a mother.

I simply adore weekends when they turn out adorable.

*****

Books, Books And More Books Part 1

I finished this book most recently. & I absolutely love it. I've been reading Janet Dailey's books for a very long time and I wouldnt miss any of them actually.

She writes about romances with no frills or silly scenes nor sexy scenes (well, sexy is personal intepretation anyway.. ) Her heroines are matured (and I dont mean old or middle-aged) and down to earth. And her heroes are rugged, solid guys who arent swayed by the pretty face - & they come with serious intentions too.

And to all the men in my life who smirked and put on that silly grin whenever they find my books - I doubt I'll ever give up on these books - so I guess I'll keep you entertained for a long, long time..

*****