Silent Night (And Days..)

I suppose it is the end of the "season to be merry" for me - classes have started again on campuses and that means the boys have all gone back for classes except Eirfan of course.

Last night we sent off the last of the three whose classes will start on Mon. Registration is today though.

Eirfan is again on his own - no more tagging along and moping around the house with the abangs. Cant act so "macho" with his friends anymore either - he does that whenever the abangs are around. He refused to get out to the padang and when friends came to invite him to play he always said no (punya lah seronok nya abang ada kat rumah..)

The house is silent again - no blaring music or game sounds from the pc; no hungry prowlers in my kitchen; no sounds of door / floor creaking or anyone tiptoeing in the late night.

I can always tell when classes have started..

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A Gloomy Sunday

Woke up this morning with a premonition that it might not be a good day today (trust an emotional person like me to say something like that!)

I guess we are not going for our morning walk today - it's a wet morning - it rained last night; which is a good thing as the weather has been hot lately. Wondered what I should do for the rest of the day..

Come to think of it, I could bake the cheese cake that I wanted try; I have the sour cream it needed but not the cream cheese - Giant doesnt have the kind that I like when I was there yesterday.. or maybe I could re-pot my plants that bordered the neighbor's house - I need more shrubs there to block the view a bit more (if I know him, he'd be washing his car in a short while - he does that without fail every Sun.. dont get me wrong - he's a good neighbor actually)

Or maybe I should start digging the ground for my vege patch. Or should I visit the bookstore? I saw a cd that a friend was looking for the other day and I could get a book or two for myself too. Come to think of it, I have lots of books I borrowed (ie that means trashy junks..) the other day - I've finished 4 and have 2 more to go and I do plan to finish them before Christmas..

Or maybe I should visit the mall - they say shopping can cure a lot of ailment, after all.. I also have my bead project that need completion - I could finish that..

Or maybe I'll just sit here near my pond with my coffee (nes-lo actually) blogging away with Gwen Stefani entertaing me with her rendition of 'Early Winter'.. (this beats surfing at Starbucks hands down any time. Dont you just love wireless technology..?)

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Time Out

We took time out from everybody's busy schedule and went to see / ride on the Eye On Malaysia last night.

It was quite daunting actually once you are at the very top of the wheel and when it made its way down towards the ground again. The line was long - maybe everybody waited till the last minute to ride it.

It reminded me of queues at big amusement parks but surprisingly the management of the long lines was quite efficient considering we are in Malaysia.. (a cynic that I am..)

As usual, of course I've got photos..

There is just a small flicker of KLCC..

The eye changes color.

Standing in the middle of the eye

From a distance

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Raya Again

This aidil adha was very very simply celebrated. Not much to tell unlike the previous aidil fitri.

But as usual, when we celebrate raya at home we manage to get interesting / fun photos..

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Cool!

Had a chat with a friend last week - oh, about this and that..

As she got up to leave, she said 'You ni cool lah..'

I beamed. I thought it's cool to be called cool. Thanks to friends who make our days, huh?

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Trying To Be The Happiest Woman In This World

Now how do we go about achieving that? - to be the happiest woman in the world?

Recently I found a book with that title - "The Happiest Woman In The World". It is actually a book of reminders written by Dr A'id al-Qarni and was first published in Riyadh. It is quite interesting.

After finishing the book and then thinking about it, I doubt I am the happiest in the world.. Nevertheless, I am left with a bit more contentment with what Allah has bestowed upon me.

Dr A'id is also the author of the book "Dont Be Sad" - a bestseller. The description of the book says "It is full of practical advice on how to repel despair and replace it with a pragmatic and ultimately satisfying Islamic outlook on life.It exposes to the modern reader how Islam teaches us to deal with the tests and tribulations of this world. So, take heart and hold firmly onto the rope of Allah."

I was thinking of buying it some time ago but when I looked at the price, I had second thoughts about it.. I think I should ask my sister to look it up in the library the next time she goes there..

Lesson of the day : Being happy does not come easy. It is not about having more; but to be more appreciative of the things that we do have.

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Something I Dont Know About..

I am currently doing some reading on - you'll never guessed it - secularism. Hummph.. it is a tough read because first, it is a serious subject and second the subject matter is discussed by Yusuf Qardhawi.

If you know me well, I dont usually do this reads - it is too serious for me. But I am plowing on.. I suppose I am thinking that having lived for almost half a decade it is time to be serious about well.., stuff..

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Finding A Place To Call Home

Do you feel like sometimes life is a huge void?

Maybe I should sign up with Mukhriz on Aman Malaysia to make the world a better place - or maybe join Tian Chua for a more liberalized Malaysia or maybe.. the list is endless but only true self can decide.

Zana, are you reading this? You should go into advertising..

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Just Us Girls

Went out for scones and some English Breakfast tea (all thanks to our tutor Dee..) at Bangsar today. 'Twas nice girls. We have to do this again soon; but with proper waiters and all at the other branch.

The scones just now wasnt as d'lish as the ones we had before, kan? And unfortunately I terlupa nak tangkap gambar laa.. And nobody else remembered either..

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Winter Wonderland

Isnt this beautiful? (I got it from the web - not on my camera - sob..)

Lately when you turn on the tv there's bound to be a Christmas programme showing.

Christmas reminds me a lot of things too - chewwaahh - well, most importantly it reminds me of winter time, obviously.

Christmas reminds me of winter and snow and lights in the streets and winter sales and snow storms and looking out of the window at the snow falling outside and yet remaining warm inside within the apartment.. and on and on. But surprisingly it doesnt remind me of the freezing temperatures. It also reminds me of the first so-called "going away" party which also happened at Christmas coincidently.

I find winter with snow magical and fun and full of fond memories.. Yeap, I'm doing a roll-back to some twenty years or so ago..

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Save The Hills!

If you've been driving around Melawati, you'll noticed the hills have been levelled to make room for more (and more..) houses.

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I really hate that - there goes the greens that have always been associated with the area AND .. the lorries are horrendous - they go fast, they bring dust and they are dangerous - they have in fact knocked down the stop sign AND a couple of lamp posts at the junction close to home! Luckily there were no one was hurt - THIS TIME!

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Thus the house owners, us inluded, had summoned the developers for a meeting and warned them that we would get a juncture for site closure if they do not behave. So there!
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Anyhow I was in Pasar Tani last weekend and there were a few people asking for signatures for a petition to save Melawati Hills - of course we signed up!

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A PNB Affair

Iman got problems with her ASB account - none of the agents at the banks know what's wrong but her account is non-active. So we went to PNB to get it sorted out. Turned out that some of her documents are missing ie not collected by the agent - that's why.

PNB scrutinzised all her legal docs which made me so mad. If they need a copy of her IC then get the copy but do they do that? Noooo - they act like they are the JPN instead and wanted to look at the sijil warganegara under the microscope and etc etc. Now, are they implying they do not trust the JPN? Blah.. blah.. I can go on and on..

Nevertheless, so as not to lose my temper I read the papers (I cynically said - no wonder newspapers are strewn around the waiting lobby ie they need the investors to be diverted a bit from the red-tapes.. they dont accept cash so we had to find a post office then come back to finalise the transaction - is that ** or what? cant find a word for that..) and walked outside. There was a big tent and nasyid was sung.

Turned out Raihan was practising there for their show later. So I snapped their photos.

.. no, the fact that Raihan was there didnt soften me one tiny bit.. unfotunate actually because they are really good even at practice..

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Busy, busy..

Well, I've been thinking (.. uh-oh, thinking has always gotten me into trouble..) that since I've finished painting the living room and potted the vege plants that I've bought (although I dont have the vegetable patch yet) and made those bangles and cooked some new stuff.. I want to do something else.

I have been thinking that I would like to start planting some orchids. I had bought a few pots some years ago and they had.. died. But that doesnt mean I cant try again, right?

Maybe I will just take a slow drive to Sg Buloh and see what plants are available there. Anyhow it has been ages since I've been to the nurseries.. Or maybe I will drive to the orchid farm in Serendah and see what they have got there.

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At Istana

We went to take pictures at the Istana Negara - the boys were resigned to the fact that they had to follow me there with Eirfan..

.. the gates were open and there were outriders waiting outside. HRH might be leaving for somewhere..

.. with the guard..

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A New Voice

There seem to be a new muazzin at the mosque. Occassionally he would be calling for prayer and he sounded very much different from the regular voice.

I'd give him an 'A' for his efforts (he stretches himself during the azan) but maybe a 'D' for results (can I say something like pitching dia lari? It does..)

I remember an ustaz who compared a muazzin's call to prayer with the singing of a celebrated singer. He said if the azan is called 'correctly' (I wouldnt know how to define correct) it would / could be the most amazing sound that we'd hear.

I think he has a point.. the azan, especially for the fajr prayer, could be so soulful at times, dont you agree? And I hope the new muazzin wouldnt take too much time to improve..

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The Good Old Days

I found Ms Warwick's 1967 "I say A Little Prayer For You" and 1968 "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" and also 1984 "Heartbreaker". Not forgetting too from Iglesias' equally golden era "Begin The Beguine".

Along the way I came across Andy William's "Moon River" (which is oh, so dreamy) and his version of "Fly Me To The Moon" and of course "Love Story"..

Which reminds me of the guy in office whose ring tone is the theme from "Love Story".. Is he a man or what? - I mean here is a guy who is not shy about his ring tones girls..

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It Came To An End

I've been preoccupied with a lot of things lately - like painting the living room as I've desperately wanted to do for so long - and been a bit creative ie I've designed a few bangles (designed? sounds glamorous for the humble couple that I did) and doing cooking and more cooking for the boys.

Nevertheless..

We got a call from someone close today. Her divorce proceedings finally came through and she is finally and irrevocably divorced. She cried.

I didnt shed a tear. He wasnt man enough for her. He made her life miserable for years. Ignoring the kids. Carelessly leaving all responsiblities for her to shoulder. Her / The kids' lives were in turmoil for years. If I had any tears, that would be for the innocent children who didnt understand and who were emotionally affected by it all..

She bought a new house and planned to move in there next weekend. All the more reason for her to cry, I think - the house that represents the most fragile link between them is finally gone. It really has come to the end.

I told her not to look at this as something that has ended. But as a new beginning instead. A new and exciting life for her and the children.

I pray she'll be fine in her new home. I wish her and the children all the happiness, peace and blessings from Allah..

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We Were Bad!

It is the school holidays and Eirfan will just mope around the house especially now when his abangs are around.

So when we decided to trim the cermai and the cempedak trees at the back of the house we told him he could help and cut the smaller branches - just to spice his day a bit. We then dragged the branches to the small dump where big things are thrown and was regularly burnt by one the pakciks.

I said to my hubby, can we burn these? And we did. And soon Eirfan was throwing all kinds of branches into the fire. So yeah, we were bad and became non-eco friendly for the morning.. I even have photos of that!

ps - at one point he was sweating from sawing a branch. He looked hot and mad and so furious. Later I asked him what happened to make him so livid? He said, I saw (saw? is there a past tense for saw?) all around the branch and still it refused to break. I laughed. He thought it was easy as he had watched his brother done it. Now he knows better!

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Not A Normal After Office Affair

I decided to make a quick stop at TMC Bangsar after office yesterday to get some stuff for dinner. In the end I got some chicken for my chicken with soya sauce and some prawns for the fiery fried vecimelli I had planned.

I bought some sage and rosemary too. There is a new recipe by Jamie that I want to try. Then I quickly stopped at the bakery for some freshly baked bread and hmm.. the burger buns look good. So I got that too - maybe I can make some home-made meat patties over the weekend to go with them..

I quickly shook my head to the pakcik who wanted to show me the mat and other stuff that he has with him. As I was turning on the ignition I saw something big and tall moving under the trees in front of TMC. I had to get out and take photos of those things.. these are what they are.



Unfortunately, I didnt see what the Aussie promotion was.

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Taking The Bull By The Horns..

.. err.. so to speak, that is.

I went round Ampang area this morning looking at some houses and I saw this interesting road sign that says 'Jalan Bulbul'. I wondered (and am still wondering) what is bulbul?

Nevertheless it reminds me of the guy in the office that we call Bul. I should send this to him..

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Not My Usual Sunday

We finally got to send all the (old) furnitures to the orphanage today. I was just waiting for the boys to come back so they can move out all those heavy shelves and cupboard.

The boys found out the cupboard was heavier than they expected and my 'hero tua' (are you reading this, yang? ) had to help out. We borrowed a small lorry from a friend to transport out all the stuff.

These are some of the photos that I have; unfortunately I dont have any taken at the orphanage.. when we got there, the children were all ready to go to a majlis tahlil. Their transport were right behind us. Because of the rush, I had totally forgottten to snap any photos. A disappointment really..

.. moving all the heavy stuff out ..

.. arranging em on the lorry..

.. they were excited about riding in / driving the lorry ..

.. we went for a bowl of cendol after all the hard work.

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A Blushing Afternoon

It was the nicest way to end the Friday / week - we went to an "almost" office function. We can't help but blush - there was pink everywhere in the room..

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The food was nice, and the venue, and almost everyone wore pink (what else when the theme for the afternoon was Pink Petals?) that the mc said anyone else would think we are at a Putri Umno function (puh-leazze.. I wouldnt want anyone to see me there!)

It wasnt a glamorous function but it was very nice. We had big laughs over the performances did by the amateurs.. Girls, we must do this again.

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Pretty in pink.

She was a funny mc

It wasnt love at first "sound" with Ajai / Masha; unlike with Anuar Zain..

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People

Do you sometimes do flashbacks in your mind and then thought I should'nt have said that, or I should've said something nicer or should have been more gracious about the whole incident or blah.. blah .. blah? Or maybe told yourself you should have just shut up instead of putting your foot into your mouth?

I met a few friends whom occurred to me are among the nicest, gracious people. They made you feel very welcomed, told you your apologies are unwarranted, put you at ease and in the whole process made you feel very humbled indeed..

(I'm not too sure what is the point of this post - this is like a scene from a movie where the writer ripped the paper out of the typewriter, crumpled it into a ball and threw it furiously across the room.. In other words, the whole story is just impossibly baaad .. )

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Seasons Of Life

...
I climbed the mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills ~
Till the landslide brought it down
O mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can a child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tide?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Uhm.. mm.. I dont know
Well I've been afraid of changing
'Cos I build my life around you
But time makes you bolder, even the children get older
I'm getting older too
...

I am currenly indulging in the oldies by Stevie Nicks. This is from Landslide which is most poignant..

Current Read

I have yet to finish the "What Color Is Your Parachute?" The book turned out to be tougher than I expected. The exercises include identifying who you are, what turns you on (no, not like that..) and writing essays. So I decided to take a breather from that for uhm.. a while .. a long time maybe..

I also finished Sandra Brown's "Play Dirty". It's not as good as her previous writes I think..

I am continuing with "The Happiest Woman In Hereafter" which I read halfway before Ramadhan. I put that aside when I picked up "Remeh-temeh Tentang Puasa - Tapi Anda Malu Bertanya" (ya, saya malu... it is a virtue, you know..)

So yeah, I read books like that - sometimes the book just cant hold your attention - so I exchange it with another. At the end of the day I will finish all my books - because I hate spending the money on them for nothing.

So I have to finish all these books before I pay another visit to the bookstore..

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Raya Stories Part IV : (burp..) Uh.. excuse me..

That's what Syawal weekends are all about - eat, eat and eat.

You cant not go to your relatives' or friends' houses if you are invited for their raya do. So you went. When you come back they will tapau more food for you and you smiled and said thank you and put the things in your fridge when you got home.

You invited people over and whatever left overs you have, you put that in your fridge too. After some time my fridge is bulging and I have already forgotten what I have put in there..

I also have lots of kueh raya (I didnt over bought them ok - I only bought the pineapple tart) that were given to me by my in-laws, my niece etc etc. They were also some crisps that I was obliged to buy.. which made my cupboard bulging.

Everywhere I turn there are food, food and more food. I wish I can have my normal, dull, nothing-happening weekends back very very soon, dont you?

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Buzzing

Lately my head is buzzing with a lot of ideas ~

+ I'd like to have a vegetable patch at the back of the house. I bought some seeds and some plants already - tomatoes, aubergines and chilli. But the hardwork - to dig the patch - has not yet started..

+ I have been cooking and cooking lately for raya guests. It seem like nice - has been a long time since I've spent that much time in the kitchen. I've forgotten how good it can make you feel when you try something new and it turned out great!

+ I am also thinking about starting a new blog for food / cooking / recipes.

+ Everytime I sit in my living room I'd look at the ceiling and walls and think that I should redo the whole room. The curtains are already 10 years old; my one and only. So are the sofas and the rugs..

+ I have been thinking about writing a book - is that a crazy idea or what? - got some materials / ideas for it..

.. and on and on. It'll be wonderful if I'd be able to get all these accomplished.

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Not On Our Whims..

Yesterday turned out to be a very full day. Visited a friend (if I can call her that) whose husband had passed away. Stopped by at a friend's house for raya on the way back from the visit. Got great news from friends and then topped that all up with a jalan-jalan hari raya at a neighbour's house.

The events left me feeling disorientedly mixed-up.

I am being reminded that death is very sad indeed. It could also strip you of all your dignity. And only Allah swt knows our fate at death. Doa lah banyak-banyak.

I found out that whilst I am very very happy for (and proud too of) my friends and do not wish anything less for them, yet at the same time I am envious. I tell myself doa lah banyak-banyak..

I know I'd rather mope around the house instead of visiting.. mostly anyone in fact.. but we all know how much Islam put emphasis on silaturrahim within neighbors and anyone else. So I should do it. Doa lah banyak-banyak..

Raya Stories Part 3 : Dont Try This At Home!!

So tell me, what do you see on raya that you seldom do on other days? Yeah the food – lemang, rendang and all the works..

Massive traffic on the highway but quiet / empty city roads.

Sparkling clean houses.

Raya lights (I love this)

Duit raya! (My children love this)

Family members we don’t usually see.

Baju raya.

Lots of blink-blink. One last thing I myself notice at raya is the gold accessories that women-folk would wear. Small ones, chunky ones, long necklaces, chokers, anklets and bracelets and bangles. Don’t forget the sweet little pendant to large ‘medallions’. And ear rings and studs and hoops. And of course rings (and anything else I'd have missed).

On raya I met people with long and short chunky necklaces (one even wore 3 of them - at the same time, mind you.. which would definitely put Mr T to shame..) They also had equally large bands of bracelets strapped to both their wrists. Of course they also wore rings and medallions and ear rings.

Personally I cant seem to appreciate all the adornment that they have on. Don’t people get it that sometimes less is actually more..?

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Raya Stories Part 2 - Whispers

Coincidently I lost my voice on raya day itself. I think my throat got a shock over the iced drink on buka puasa Thur as for the last 28 days or so there were no iced drinks served at home.

Fri I croaked like a toad and on Raya itself, no one could understand me and talking was just an effort I prefer to pass.

The children loved it as I cant nag them at all. They imitateted my raspy whispers and called me ? (the character from Lord of The Rings - I'm no fan of the trilogy so I dont know who / what I was supposed to be..) - those brats!

I think it was frustrating as I cant chat with anyone that I only meet on an occassion like raya. But in a way it was a blessing too - I made it as an excuse not to visit anyone I dont want to visit .. he-he.

It seem worse today - need to see the doctor after all - it's been almost a week. And although I have my voice now (coincidently I sound better than Ella - she's my least fave singer you know..) I feel like there's a lump somewhere in my throat.

I suppose the doctor might give me an MC. Actually I've got plans in the office (work plans ok - not raya plans..) and after this long raya break I am not looking forward for an MC anyway. We'll see...

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Raya Stories Part I

We made it home to CJ after all this raya. A phone call to mum made me scrap my earlier plans to raya in KL. Told my daughter to see her boss to get extra days cuti else she's just going to find her own way home to CJ (or spend raya alone!) and told Luq to drop off midway on his journey and dont come to KL (unless he wants to spend raya alone too!)

Pre-raya at CJ is typical - cooking is predominant with no time for anything else. There is the rendang tok, rendang pedas, ketupat daun palas and wajik. Add to that list nasi impit and kuah kacang and kuah lodeh and curry chicken. But raya was a bit quiet this time - there were only four of us siblings.

Raya itself is spent - eating, what else? - and catching up with each other. But the kitchen is the place to be where mum is concerned.. we cook and clean and cook and cook..

Raya at the in-laws is totally different. We can lepak all day watching tv if we like - switching channels the busiest that we can get and nobody would complain about it. We cook a big pot of anything at the start of the day and eat that all day long.. (no comments from me..)

On the third day of raya we are already back in KL. Unfortunately once we get home, there is not much of the raya mood anymore. The children would be occupied with the PC / PS2 / Disney channel / sleeping (???) Then there'd be big piles of dirty laundry to get over with and the house has to be cleaned (it is raya - the house need to be sparkling..) It is too early to go out visiting also - seem like everyone's still beraya di kampung.

Today the children plan to visit Low Yatt to get some stuff. I need to get the groceries - the boys are home and I need plenty of food. Maybe I should bake a cake too..

How's that for raya? Dull, eh? I have to do better next year.

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Raya Plans

I think I will most probably celebrate raya first in KL and then after Fitr Solat only will we head home balik kampung.

The boys have been silent - especially those two up north. Dont know what their class schedules or their fitr holidays are like. After much effort to call them (seem like reception is bad on campus.. ) only did I know that classes will finish on Wed and so will only arrive in KL on Fri night!

What frustration! This is what happens when I dont keep looking over their shoulder and tell them what to do. If classes finishes at noon Wed, then balik la Wed afternoon, why Thur afternoon?

So rather than rushing back to kampung on Fri (I bet it's going to be a long and a very, very slow journey) we decided to postpone it a bit.

But raya at home means a full day in the kitchen on Fri - without fail. Ada orang nak makan wajik la, rendang la, lodeh la, kuah kacang la etc etc. Must plan for that.

And also fitr eve I think we should do something together so I thought main bunga api would be nice. I bought the bunga api and my significant other had shook his head when I told him but Eirfan said yippee, boleh main bunga api dengan abang (so it's alright then. ha-ha.) I should have a supper picnic while watching the boys play I think. (Almost like independence day celebration - if only the bunga api are as nice and not ciput like mine... )

Hope it is going to be another nice raya.

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It's .. uh.. Complicated

I have a confession ~ ie I have a love-hate relationship with this guy. Aww.. gempaq gitu..

He doesnt have the good looks like Pitt and neither is he charismatic like Clooney. He's not too smart - he admitted it himself - he said he's not the brightest in the bunch. And to boot, he lisps. Ugh..

BUT, he is so enthusiatic about this thing that he does. He's very passionate about it you can see it the way that he goes about his kitchen. Ha-ha.. do you know him now? Jamie Oliver la.. I try to never, never miss his shows and catch the repeats also.

The love thing is like this - I love the fact that he has a garden where he can get his herbs from. I mean, did you see his garden? It's so green and so beautiful (I bet the credit should be given to his gardener - Brian - for that!) And I love the ovens he have out in the open space. They are so wicked (for the lack of a better description of them).

I love his kitchen - it's spacious, quaint but yet equipped with all the things he needed within an arm's span. And the things that he put on the table ~ simply cant be expressed!

The hate thing is simple - I envy that he could pick his own tomatoes and lettuces and herbs. And that his kitchen is so great and the fact that he is so good at what he does.

So that's why according to Iman I have a sort-of-complicated relationship here...

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Al-Aqsa And The Dome Of The Rock

When you read this post, just regard it like I am telling a story, ok? Some of the facts may not be too accurate as I may have misunderstood some of the things I have read.

Al-Aqsa is most prominent for being the first qibla and also for Isra' Mi'raj. When Rasulullah saw made the night journey on the winged steed Buraq, he arrived at al-Aqsa and then performed a two rakaah prayer. After that from a rock there he ascended to the heavens with Jibril.

History said that al-Aqsa fell into the hands of the Roman Empire for some time and later it was Umar al-Khattab ra who rebuilt the masjid on its current location.

Masjid Al Aqsa is located within a precinct of religious buildings in eastern Baitul-maqdis (fyi Baitul-maqdis was captured by the Israel in 1967). According to tradition, the whole area is called al-Aqsa, not just the mosque particularly.

The name al-Aqsa translates as the 'farthest' ie Masjid al-Aqsa means 'the farthest masjid'. It is located in the southern part of the al-Aqsa precinct. It can take as many as 5,000 prayer congregation at any time. It is the masjid with the greyish dome (some said blue).

Now Dome of the Rock is a dome over the stone where Rasulullah saw stood for Mi'raj (some said it is a masjid also) and it was built by a latter day khalifah, Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan. Its proper name is Qubbat as-Sakhrah (ie Dome of the Rock). The gold cover of the dome is made of real gold.

There are lengthy narrations of the history of al-Aqsa - the site is also believed as the place where Prophet Sulaiman, Daud and Zakaria had worshipped Allah.

Now the Jews believed the site is also where the Temple Mount is - the first Jewish temple. They also believed that the final temple will be built by Moshiach (the Jewish Messiah) on the same location when he reappears.

As such, that is why today there are many conflicts over the site. So that's the story I want to tell.

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Something That I Like

Yes, I have Anuar Zain's latest CD. A few people popped the question after reading the previous posts - so that's the anwer.

It's very 'listenable'. Very typical of Anuar - mendayu-dayu. Very nice. I like it except for a couple of songs which sound like very retro to me - I start imagining people with big hair (Alleycats era?) when I hear those songs.

If you like Anuar, it's very worthwhile to get the CD. If you dont like Anuar, it is very worthwhile to get the CD. If you have no opinion of Anuar (something like, like I care?) it is very worthwhile to get the CD.

Ha-ha.. need I say more?

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Blessed With His Mercy

Alhamdulillah. It is confirmed the project cut-over date is deferred.

I am happy; all of us have the notion that it will be postponed and now thankfully it is confirmed. So I can concentrate on Ramadhan and up-coming Syawal for now.

But knowing the boss, she will start handing out new plans and tasks to be delivered before very long. I dont really mind all the hard work - but when that is coupled with very very tight schedule and no room for fall-back, life can be darn miserable. Add to that uncompromising users and unpredictable bosses, they all make a great life - in hell, that is - figuratively speaking of course...

But for today / this evening / maybe tomorrow too or the rest of the week, life seems wonderfully bright!

*****

A Flicker Of Smile

I heard on the grapevine that the project cutover date could be deferred. I am so happy if that were true. I really and truly hope it is true.

I promise myself I will do more amal and perkara yang baik-baik je Ramadhan ni if this is so. Rasa kusut semacam dengan projek nak cutover and also to concentrate on Ramadhan at the same time. I am not complaining about Ramadhan; but of dunia yang tak ada penghujung - especially work when we cant set the rules ourselves.

Thank you Allah, if the project is really deferred. Thus the flicker of a smile from me.

Nevertheless, I am heading home now - thank you Allah for giving us husbands who could get us dinner if we were late home from work.. (the one concerned would be sooo mad if he reads this..)

*****

On The Fourth Day Of Ramadhan

Went to the shops to get some stuff today (amongst others I wanted to see if Anuar Zain's latest CD is out. He's the only singer I make an exception to buy original CDs instead of downloading from the net - well, maybe M Nasir too come to think of it..).

Anyway on this fourth day of Ramadhan I am still sluggish about Eidul-fitr. I mean, yeah sure it's just round the corner - but I have not made plans about it yet. Where to raya, clothes, kueh raya and the house - nothing's done yet. With the project cutover date looming, who's prepared for anything else anyway?

So, sluggish as I was I walked into the store & they were playing what else - if not raya songs? Five minutes into the store and all those nostalgic things you remember at raya and raya only, came back and instantaneously I thought, hey it is very much almost raya already.

& I thought I really need to find some decent raya clothes for the boys, songkok for Eirfan, to get my baju raya from the tailor, order some kueh, get some lights for the porch (last year's was nice but sooo last year..) and blah.. blah.. blah.

But in the mean time let's concentrate on celebrating Ramadhan first.

*****

I Am WHAT??!

I tolerate rudeness ~
I believe the youngsters have not yet learnt to guard their tongue;

I forgive others ~
I think I may have made similar mistakes;

I admire intelligence ~
I've learnt looks will fade but a sharp mind is a habit of diligence;

I value time ~
I looked back and I wondered where they had all gone;

I treasure friendships ~
I realised you could befriend someone and yet not be friends;

I am thinking that I am laid-back, understanding, mellow, mature, at peace with my own self. I am convinced I am old...

*****

Ramadhan al-Mubarraq

I wondered yesterday if it is correct, grammatically that is, to say "celebrate" Ramadhan ~ as the word celebrate somehow portrays parades and fireworks and parties that do not signify what Ramadhan should be.

But then again I thought, why not "celebrate" Ramadhan? After all, Ramadhan is a magnificent month ~ where blessings are abundant and forgiveness from Allah aplenty. Promises for countless returns of deeds done. Arent these more than enough reasons to celebrate the blessed month?

So let's celebrate Ramadhan. Let's let the spirit of the month rejuvenate our iman and intensify our 'amal. Let's engulf in the promised rewards. Let's embrace the glad tidings of Ramadhan.

Come, celebrate Ramadhan. The "new" you awaits at the end of this holy month, Insya'allah.

*****

Back To Basics

The Merdeka month's gone and so's my spirit of patriotism - whatever little there is in the first place..

I've change the blog colors again. I love the green as it symbolizes life and portrays cool forests and nature. The muted orangey tones are the colors of clay and earth. It also reminds me of the sun (what's life without the sun anyway?) and beautiful sunsets over the oceans.

Yeah, I know ~ I am real sucker for romances.

*****

A Chat Room

He.. he.. (I am gleefully laughing) I am so proud of myself - I managed to put up the chat area in the blog. Do keep in touch and drop me a line here.

Would love to hear from you out there!

*****

The Merdeka Parade

We went to watch the Merdeka parade at Dataran Merdeka today. Never done that before in my life. I thought it'll be packed, and hot and would just be a drag.

And today I found out that .. those things are all true and more. It was packed, nobody cared that we were standing on the spot first - they just barged through to the front - even that lady who looked so polished. Can you belive she stood in front of the children who were sitting in the front row on the tarmac? But she moved away when some sharp tongued makcik (oh no, it was not me..) insulted her bottom. ha-ha.. (Good riddance, if you ask me).

Then there were two tough guys who wanted to pass through me to the front and I said NO. He said, no? but I'm on duty. Then show me your pass I said. He put the pass in my face. I blandly said thank you and let him pass. (What can I say? I need to protect my rights).

Then I tapped the Bangla (who pushed his way through me) on the shoulder with my small flag and tell him to get out of Eirfan's way. He was blocking Eirfan's view and I didnt take my son to the parade to watch nobody's back.

And definitely it is hot - we stood facing the sun and I'm sure I got sunburned to proof I was standing at the parade for a couple of hours.

But anyway, at the same time I was amazed so many people turned up for the celebration in spite of all those things. In a way it was nice to see we all converged together at an occassion like Merdeka. And watching it on TV definitely is not the same as standing there on the sidewalk.

We waved at the King and Queen when they left - they had the window open, which was nice.

While walking amongst the crowd back to the car we lost Eirfan for maybe about 2 minutes. My heart lurched but before I got to the panic stage, he reappeared. Of course he was reprimanded and I held his hand all the way to the car.

Eirfan said he liked the parade. He loved the jet show the best. Then the hellies and the tanks and the soldiers who wore camouflages.

We talked about going again next year. (I never thought I'd say that!)

*****

The Most Gracious

I was reading when I heard verses from Surah 55, Ar-Rahman ie The Most Gracious - the mu'azzin is getting ready to call for the Fri prayers it seems. Friday prayers first held at the surau (I'm not sure if it has been upgraded to a mosque) across the field close to a month ago.

The verses that said, Then which favors of your Lord will you deny? is most sublime I think from the Surah. It appears 31 times among the 78 verses in the Surah.

Anyhow a long time ago I read (or was I told? - I cant remember which) that in the Hereafter, Allah Himself will be reading the surah to the dwellers of Jannah. And that read, will be the most beautiful sound anyone had ever heard.

I cant remember if I had found this in any of the books I read (not that I read many anyway). And I wonder if what I remember is actually correct..

*****

Of Love & Commitment

When I was young and leading a carefree life (I am middle-aged and contented now..) I have a few very close friends. One day a friend got a proposal - which she politely and oh my God - promptly - refused.

Later I asked her why she turned the guy down. She said she loves her independence too much to be bothered with a partner. Furthermore she added she cant cook, sew and neither does she clean. As her room-mate who else knew better about her likes / dislikes?

But secretly I think she underestimates herself. She reads Carl Sagan and actually owned a telescope that she uses to look at the stars at night. She quotes Sheikh Yusuf Qardhawi and introduces topics like the Zionists in her conversations. She's techie and was on the Dean's list.. I thought she's amazing.

Many, many years after that at a get-together I asked her if there is anyone special in her life. With a face that lit up, she said well, there is this guy in the office who always notices what I wear, compliments me and always singling me out. And I said oh wow, sounds like love is in the air. Solemnly she said no, he quit doing all that now. Why? (I really want her to find someone to share life with) Maybe because I didnt respond to his overtures - I want to but I cant and in fact I dont know how. Maybe that's why he stopped doing all those things - because he thinks I am not interested..

Dear me. I didnt know what to say.

If she would come to me and tell me the same story today I'd tell her to just go to the guy and tell him that she likes him. To hell with being shy or bashful. And this is not the time to let our insecurities stop us for getting what we want in life either.

So you go, girls! (But I regret to say my friend remains single till today.)

*****

The Upcoming National Day

I came back from the office one day and noticed the national flag is up on our front gates. It looked nice hung high up on a pole; flapping in the cool dusk air. The so-called raya lights (because it is almost always lighted up at raya only) is on too.

Curious, I asked what's with the lights? The answer I got was we are celebrating merdeka, arent we? Me : Oh? Oh.. okay. We boys put up the flag - you like it? I said yeah, nice. What's even nicer is that they spent time together putting it up.

So this is the flag that we have.

*****

Books, Books And More Books Part II

Left office a bit earlier than usual today and stopped at the book store to just "browse and look" and to relax a bit.

There is a good selection of things to read actually once I open my eyes to other genre of readings. Noticed books by Khaled Hossein like The Kite Runner - it looked interesting. And maybe I should read something by Amy Tan. These days local and non-western writers seem to attract my attention.

Picked up the book by Zabrina A Rahman (did I get her name right..?) also, she is a blogger and then went on to publish a book (I so envy that, ughh..). Her blog is fresh, different, entertaining in a way but at the same time makes you think about.. well, things that matter. Read her blog here http://www.wisdomthruwords.blogspot.com/

Wondered if I should buy her book - but since I've decided to buy two other books already today, I thought I should make another trip to the store to get her book.

Got calls and sms(es) while in the store. From people in the office, of course. Replied all of them and decided to head home after all. What a deflating way to end a good trip to the bookstore.

*****

Pasar Tani Part II

Someone asked me yesterday what I'd be doing over the weekend. I said I'd be going to pasar tani on Sat and then uh, I dont know. Yeah I know - so dulll eh? - and as expected she made a face..

& went to the pasar tani I did this morning & got the usual stuff.. But arent the fruits lovely at this time? With rambutan and pulasan, and manggis and cempedak and dokong and mata kucing in addition to the usual guava and watermelon and bananas and those imported stuff.

But I also notice something else at the pasar - there are more people asking for money there (I wouldnt want to call them beggars). There is the regular pakcik who said he is a musafir (takkan tiap-tiap minggu musafir..?) and the blind pakcik who sings there - he's quite good actually too.

But this morning there are blind makciks and some younger men who are incapacitated. The poor men - most cant walk - maybe five of them. The articles that we read long ago about children being kidnapped and then incapacitated in some way and then forced to beg came to my mind.

I prayed that didnt happen to the men I saw at the pasar this morning.

*****

The Green Is So Bad..

Urgh, I think the green in ths blog is just horrendous - dont you?

*****

Anak Yang Hilang (Sekejap)

Eirfan was not waiting at the school front gate as usual after school today. He was not there at quarter past one either. And neither was he there at 2. The school office said there are no trips made outside school today. The jaga has no idea either.

Eirfan showed up at our front gates at about half past two. His father made him call me at the office. He was scared I think - maybe he knew he's in trouble.

He said he went on a school trip with classmates and teachers to a studio to watch "actors act". & I go like ??? (& for that reason, ie to watch actors act, I had to go into an almost panic mode?).

Cant teachers be more logical than this? No prior notices, no consentment from parents, causing worries for no reason - purely lack of sense of responsiblities if you ask me.

I will have to bring up the matter with the PIBG. Come to think of it, I think I'll just write a letter to the school and let them explain about this!

*****

Difficult Times

There is an exercise in this book that I am reading - ie to list down at least a hundred goals that I want to achieve in life. That is a tall order for someone who doesnt think about goals at all - maybe once or twice in some of the training sessions I attended. It is difficult to come up with 30 let alone 100.

And also I found out some simple and sometimes familiar words are hard to explain - maybe like conquistadors and tapestry. And then maybe cerulean and aga. And someone asked me what's the difference between a cove, a bay and a ? (cant remember the third word). I thought I know the words but turned out they are quite difficult to describe actually.

But difficulty is only when we cant see through the subject, once we do it failed to be difficult anymore.

*****

Taking 100% Responsibility

I thought and 'thunk' and deliberated and mull over the thirty things I want to have, I want to do and want to be before I die - and found out it's too much to think about. Couldnt even get twenty yet..

I'm going slowly over my book so that I can put into practice what I've learnt. So far I've learnt err.. uh.. hmm.. now let's see what exactly have I learnt? Oh yeah right - you've got to take responsibility over everything (read that as EVERYTHING) that happens in your life. Take control. If anything is not going the way you like it, start changing it. You and only you have control over what happens to your life.

Stop blaming your boss or spouse or the weather or the traffic for anything. The least that you can do is to change the way you response to these variables in life. Make sense? No? Read the book.

*****

Books, Books And More Books

I am currently reading a book on motivation and setting goals and achieving whatever your have set your mind on written by Canfield. He's the guy who co-wrote the series of chicken soup for the soul books.. and that's why the new quotes on the blog..

I also crashed read during the weekend a number of M&B books ie Live-The-Emotion tag line kind of books. Which are actually very effective in helping your forget the real world that you live in - if only for a few hours.

I finished Dr Phil's (a syndicated "shrink" in the States) book like a couple of weeks ago after what - 3 months of reading? Whew - that was a long read. And I doubt I could practice his philosophies - too much effort required on changing habits that define me..

Also finished the book from CAP on halal & haram aka halalan thoyyibah kind of read. I'd recommend that book to anyone who wants to discover a bit more about the food that we eat and other stuff. If anyone gotten a mail recently about bone china - yeap, it is mentioned in this book. I urge everyone to read it. Book title is Halal & Haram - Persatuan Pengguna Pulau Pinang.

Of course I cant help but pick up Jamie's cookbook. Even if I dont cook.. I visited MPH on Fri and man.., he already has a new book out which cost almost twice the one that I recently purchased. I thought I had to buy the new book then but Iman is most logical at times..

Anyway, back to this goal-thing, I am supposed to think about 30 things I'd like to do, to have and to be before I die.. that's how you can tell what you really, really want. Would it work you think..?

*****

Tweaking The Blog A Bit..

I changed the blog colors - not that I truly love it but it'll do for now.

I wanted to go to pasar tani this morning - but look at the time - to engrossed with the blog I was. Maybe much later - only need to get some fruits.

Eirfan is supposed to go to school to day - a replacement session - but I decided to let him stay home instead. Yesterday he already asked if he could just stay home today and my answer was an adamant NO then.

But right now I am wondering if I am advocating liberation in him or a defiance to disciplines.. Well, too late to worry about that now anyway.

And do read the new quotes I've put at the top left of the blog. They really make sense - at least to me..

*****

Spark, Sparkles and Gumption

While blogging this evening I thought that I am tired of the lilac color in the blog background. It's too sweet and nice a color. It doesnt have enough spunk or courage in it. It is not brave.

Am I being dramatic? I would guess so. But changing the theme color will take time - need to adjust the other element colors on the page too. I'll make the change some other time I think - when I have more energy - too tired now (and time of course).

I think I need more spark (not sparkles, mind you) - more like a spark plug to a car you know.. (err.. am I making sense to you?) It's time to hit the pillows I guess.

*****

Singin' 'Bout 'Em Woes

Do forgive me if I kept (or seem to keep on) singing my blues about work on-line all the time.. Do I actually? But personally I feel it is therapeutic (like cleansing my mind AND spirit from all the stress relating to the office) when I tell about it all.

Anyway, it has been long strenuous weeks in preparation for cutover and getting over the post cutover period (he-he isnt that confusing?) This week also started badly with presentations to really, really bad uncooperative and boorish users to discussions on unresolved issues with other equally difficult users up to the meeting with THE ma'am herself.

But fortune shines on us Thur when we sailed through the difficult meeting and Fri was spent at the users' office with no rude users around. Whew.. subhanallah.

Alhamdulillah, this weekend looks really promising - we are catching Harry (Potter) and Hermoine at the movies tomorrow. I dragged my feet last week to see Transformers - I forced myself to go just so I can get my mind off office stuff. Insya'allah for once in a long while, this would be a great and restful weekend.

*****

A Mum's Tale

Anecdote 1
We were on our way back home from dinner when I received a call from my son asking for additional pocket money as he had paid for books and other stuff when he registered at college. His sister sitting in the back seat quickly said - dont buy the books just get them photostated - cheaper that way. I asked my son - did you hear that? get them all photostated. In Malaysia we dont believe in IPR and all that copyright stuff..

.. you dont agree? How else could we afford to view all those hot-from-the-oven blockbuster movies or parade around with those designer bags and wallets and belts etc etc?

Anecdote 2
Received an SMS from my son today that reads Happy Mother's Day Ma, love you. I thought he must have done something that he feels guilty about (although I dont know yet what that is..). I replied and said if you need to pull wools over my eyes, please be realistic about it. He replied back with a ha-ha message.

A mother's day wish in July..? Come on, what - was I born yesterday he thinks?.. But I still cant figure out what exactly he'd done..

Anecdote 3
After having to work late for many, many evenings I came home early for once and cooked dinner. When Eirfan found out that I am preparing dinner and we wont be dining out that night he clapped his hands and said, yey.. we dont have to go out to dinner tonite!!

I was speechless but thought - my poor son..

*****

If Wishes Came True Part 2

If wishes came true
I'd be serving cordon bleu
And would be whipping up souffles too
And invite to brunch, tea, dinner all of you

If wishes came true
I'd be smocking dresses for you
Or'd be beading my bags, shoes or even - God forbid - your tutu..
And just let my left brain fly ~ personal interests passionately I'd pursue

If wishes came true
Alexandria, Istanbul, Casablanca or Marrakech I'd take off to
Soak in the sun and all the great view
And return when - and only when - I want to

If wishes really, really came true
What I'd really, really do - let me tell you,
Bid the office and all the headaches adieu
& be a million miles away from here ~ like maybe in Timbuktu!

.. if only wishes do come true..

Empty(ier) Nest Part 2

Yesterday - well, the day before yesterday really - since it is officially Mon anyway - we sent off the other bachelor for registration of his first semester at the u.

He's happy enough to go although he will be studying up north for the next 4 years - the brat.. (affectionately said, of course). I asked him why he has to go so far to get a degree but turned out that his major is offerred at that particular u only (and parents are strongly advised never to to stand between the children and their ambitions.. and so I consented)

I'd rather that he study anywhere in the Klang Valley - there are many good universities here anyway. But since this is the way that he wants it I let him have his way. It is his future afterall.

Which reminds me what my mum always say about bringing up children (she got it from my arwah ayah she said..) - nak besarkan anak-anak ni macam main layang-layang. Lepas tali layang-layang tu - tapi kalau nampak macam layang-layang tu dah nak pergi jauh tu, tarik balik pelan-pelan ke bawah.

Which make sense to me - it is like letting the children go and yet keeping a leash on them (short or long depending on the parents) and their so-called freedom.

The semesters are here again - the break is over and the nest will be empty yet again for the next 4 months or so..

*****

Penantian (Memang) Satu Siksa..

Actually I am in the office - blogging whilst waiting for the production server to recover from an electricity failure this afternoon. The whole data center is down..

And to make matter even worse, tomorrow is the d-day for cutover. Ha-ha.. (a cynical laugh, really - at this stage nothing seem funny anymore) could anything be even worse than this? (Come to think of it yes, really - ie when you made a design error and you are just waiting for the axe to fall onto your neck - and that has happenned many, many times.. )

We are sitting in the office twiddling out thumbs now. . earlier it was promised the system will be up at 9pm then they changed it to 11 then 12 and now 1am. Let's face it, it could be at anytime..

Apa tu Desiree nyanyi - life, oh life, oh life..

*****

Building A Character

"It's not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties."

I first found this on the net somewhere and co-incidentily a friend was facing much difficulty at work at that time. I sent this to her - to give some encouragement somewhat.

Now, these days, I am facing much challenges at work and when I read the same words again I thought yeah well, very nice.. but when you are faced with problems, you just want them to go away quickly and you just dont care that the same issues might make you a better character.

You just simply want the whole thing absolved. Immediately. Even better if the boss doesnt know about it and then come avenging down on you..

*****

Humbled

Scene 1
I visited a peer in one of the offices in KL. His office is located in a shabby building - cracked walls and peeling paints and pot holes in the yard and well - just plain old. His desk is not much better - cluttered with forms to be approved, reports, and stacks and stacks of papers.

I thought the visit would last about 30 minutes or so - he only need to verify like 15 rows of information with about the same number of columns.. or so I thought - he verified every cell on the sheet. Any column that he is not sure about he referred to the papers that are on his desk. He even went to his car to get a manual (which coincidently dated 2001) to cross-ref the columns he is not sure about - and also made a looong phone call to validate his assumptions.

I left his office after spending 3 hours in there. I also left humbled. I discovered the guy who doesnt seem to fit in the corporate-savvy image worked really hard and seriously and honestly for the corporate.

Scene 2
A couple of us were sitting in a small and cramped office on a visit to see the users the other day - they had some problems with their transactions. There is no way anyone can move from their tables to the PC and file cabinet without passing in front of us. There was a TA who is older than all of us who moves to and fro the PC and his table - and everytime he passed he would bent a bit like we would do if we walked in front of our mum or makciks.

I was touched, I thought I should do that - not him. And humbled I was.

*****

Today.. tomorrow

I played truant at work today. The weekend was so short - with the wedding and its preparation on both Sat and Sun. So come Mon i am just out of steam and need to repucerate (is that correct spelling?), catch my breath and just be myself without a care for a while.

But work just cant escape us, can it? I went to sleep thinking about data and came awake to the horror of interfaces being incomplete.. Leaving kekusutan ofis di ofis is so easier said than done.

Ilyas asked me why I am not in the office (on his way out to the movies). Malas was my reply. But the word caught me - I never hear my mum saying malas about going to work all those years ago. And she worked till she was 55 anyway..

Eirfan was surprised to see me at home when he came back from school. He asked why i am not in the office - and I said mama tak sihat hari ni. Better I thought, when I heard my own reply. When the others asked the same question, I said tak sihat...

That is today - it is dusk already.. which means the end of a nice day at home. Tomorrow is a new day, it must be better than today. Have a lot of issues to settle in the office, may Allah help me and make things easy please.

*****

When Lights Go On

Went for a wedding the other day - it rained just when the happy couple got out of the car on their arrival.. murah rezeki kut la. But the bunga rampai got drenched in the crystal bowl - so did yours truly while attempting to sambut the pengantin and whilst melayan pengantin makan.. After the hustle and bustle of the kenduri died down, we left for Penang at almost 7pm.

On previous trips to the island for so many years, we always visited Padang Kota and have pasembor and rojak sotong and kerang bakar and sotong bakar etc etc by the sea. And played kite at the nearby field at mid-nite - Eirfan was four then I think and he loved it (so did I).

But on our most recent trip we found out the eating place was upgraded. Instead of shady trees and impromptu stalls and tables, proper gerai are bulit there. Gone is the quaint eating place with its own unique character (cool trees and crows and crow droppings nevertheless) and now the place just look like any other gerai (except for the sea of course). So on that last trip I said I dont think I want to visit Padang Kota anymore.

But on this trip we return to Penang because we found a new appeal in the pearl island.. the lights. If you are ever in the island, try taking the ferry to / from there instead the bridge and make the trip at dusk or at night. You'll love seeing the day turns into night as the sun sets and lights are gradually turned on the liners, cruise ships, boats, bridge and on the mainland and island. It is beautiful. It is even more beautiful at dusk compared to night time.

On our last trip the traffic was horrendous - maybe due to the school holidays but it was worth the trip with the ferry ride.

Believe me, you must try the ferry at dusk.

*****

Not So Blue Monday After All..

I am contented - managed to get home not too late today. Had dinner - at home on a working day for once! - & helped Eirfan with his revision (without losing my patience..)

Also managed to get onto the internet and do this post. Had time for Anuar Zain's Mungkin also, to boot (my newest fave). Which reminds me I never did blog out the oh-so-memorable mother's day dinner with Anuar Zain's performance.. Maybe I will one of these not-so-fine days..

Oops.. the laundry's done - what can I say, I am a very busy working mum..

*****

Mixed Feelings

I notice my update to the blog is getting less frequent by the day. This evening I am waiting for a friend to share the ride home - left my car at home today.

I am blessed - had managed to take a couple days off this school break to attend my nephew's wedding and on the way managed to stop at mum's.

She looks older by the day especially after the scare of a stroke recently. Cant stand so much, cook or tend to her beloved plants as much these days. & prefers to sit and just rest her weary old bones she said. Sedih la..

But she still has her itik nila and angsa (that makes the loudest noise ever!) and ayam serama and ayam belanda, ayam mutiara, ayam kampung and ayam telur. & she still takes care of her house like she has years more to live. Recently she changed the bidai at the open dining area and planted red palms over the pagar. Never say never - that's mum.

I will miss her.

*****

My Restless Brain-er

2 days ago my bachelor casually said, oh and by the way have I told you my matrikulasi results are out on the internet today and I found out that I have a 4.0 CGPA? - like getting a result like that is equivalent to taking a stroll in the park or something. I said no yang, you havent but congrats anyway (equally casual). I mean, if someone tells you something like that excitedly, your responses would reciprocate that emotion, right?

Well, that's my son. He hides the emotions under a lot of layers. He's a bit blur on things too. When he was in form 5 he went to school on a state public holiday (come on, he was 17 after all!) He wore glasses ever since he was 7. He owns a t-shirt that says 'restless brain' across his chest. He loves physics and calculus - thinks these are the most easiest and coolest subjects in school (I dont know why). Hates bio, sejarah as these are reading subjects and he needs to memorise things.

He doesnt care about fashion, clothes - yang seadanya is ok with him. He loves manga and animae (? is that correct spelling?) and listens to songs like 'Phantom Of The Opera' - ha-ha.. his abangs go like duh, what are you listening??!

At 14 I told his tuition teacher that he is stubborn (we had our clashes) but Mrs Ng's responses made me look at his stubborness differently - she said he has a very firm stand on things that matters to him and that is a good character of a leader. I said, you think? She said yes. Till today I thank her for letting me see that facet in him.

This break he's keeping his hair long although I threatened to buy him pretty butterfly clips to keep his hair in place.. His hair is alway falling to his face - almost like Violet in The Incredibles. But in a way he looks quite endearing (what else would a soppy mum like me think, right?)

As I am finising this post I am thinking that Masya'Allah, I am blessed in so many ways that I do not notice. Please let me always be thankful and mindful of these blessings..

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An Outrage!

Someone mentioned to me that that lady on the cable tv is a lesbian. I said shhh.. the little ears are listening. His father asked - do you know what that is..? He said yes, if gay tu lelaki dengan lelaki.. kan.. kalau perempuan ...

I protested - enough! please dont continue. But I asked how did you know that? He said, in typical innocence of a child (like there is nothing wrong with what is being discussed) - ustazah cakap.

I dont know if I should be angry or ? I have mixed feelings over the topic. After much debate whether the birds and the bees should be discussed in schools I think I am an orthodox after all where the subject is concerned. I wish the ustazah didnt mention the matter but not mentioning it doesnt make it go away anyway. But I want to protect him as much as I can from all unpleasantness fir a little bit longer..

Where Is The Feeling?

Although I keep telling myself (and the people around me) that hidup bukan untuk kerja, work keeps engulfing me and I get lost in the turmoil of it. I cant remember when was the last time I update this blog (need to check after this) - had not been in the mood seeing things are in such a bad shape in the office..

Had had meetings outside the office the last couple of days and since the meetings ended early I came straight home. BUT after two days of doing that I am now feeling guilty as the other team members work hard to get things crammed and completed into the tight schedule and I am home early (I suppose nothing will ever please us humans).

Wish I had more interesting things to write about - I do actually cme to think of it - but the words would just not flow. Bak kata kawan-kawan ~ feel tu tak ada. Maybe when I'm less preoccupied I could describe things with better words.

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Sunday Blues

This morning I came across a few oldies videos on youtube. The songs sounded exactly like they did what ~ twenty odd years ago. With Journey and Steve Perry and Bobby Brown and even my God, REO Speedwagon.

Makes me feel like crying while listening to those long ago days songs. Not that you want to go back to then or make you not want to move on. But just so sad..

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Semangat Gitu..

I am sitting in front of my laptop this afternoon and thought that ~ it's going to be Fri tomorrow - yippee! - and then it is Sat already.

I think this weekend I will try make some pastries that I had learnt with Kak Pau years ago.. which I never tried at home. That should be nice. And then I should go to pasar tani and get some prawns and try that chili recipe from my Thai recipe book - he-he..

Sun, I might have to cook something for that family meeting at my brother's house. We're going to discuss his son's wedding in June. It's going to be a busy weekend.

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Revisiting Passion (Yet Again)

I love early mornings when I can quietly dream about life.

This morning as I sip coffee and flip through my Chicken Essentials cookbook I thought I should start getting passionate about cooking (all over again). Cant remember when was the last time I did any baking - last raya maybe? Tried a new recipe? - like never in a looong time.

Yeah, I should go revisit the passion to cook - and be like Jaime and maybe Nigella or Kylie. Unfortunately for me this luxury just come and go, here today and gone on the morrow. But while this passion is here, I will ride on it and take full advantage of it while it lasts.

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A Lovely Weekend At The Highland

Went to pick up my son who finished school the other day. Since we were already close to Tapah, we decided to spend the weekend at Cameron Highlands.

We stayed at the apartment facing the golf course. The view was breathtaking - overlooking the hills (thank you Aton & Fatin for recommending). Went strawberry picking. Had strawberry ice-creams and waffles and cakes. We went to the tea plantation - the view was spectacular and the tea and scones were great. Bought a lot of flowers and vege. Wish we could have stayed longer though..

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It's More Fun This Way

It's the d-day to submit the income tax form today..

Friends tell me it's easy to do it on-line. I said I am an IT-illiterate person - I dont know how to do that. & submit the hardcopy form I did.

I spent Sun on the form & called some friends about things I dont know. Mon morning I noticed mistakes when I did my final verification. So I went to the kedai mamak and get the 'blanko'. After making corrections I went to the income tax office. From far I saw the office crowded and cars are already parked haphazardly within the surrounding area of the office. I had to park some distance from there.

I went to the kedai kodak to make a copy of my form - whew, there were two long lines there - everybody trying to make copy of their forms. I waited. The two boys manning the photocopy machines almost tripped over their fingers while making copies - they were that busy.

When I got to the office, the place looked like it's got a sale before hari raya. Berpusu manusia. I had a one last question to ask before I submit my form so I waited. I saw an old, old man who dont understand what he supposed to do and a mid-thirties guy who insisted he doesnt have to pay anything because "gaji saya banyak mana pun.. anak pun ramai.." There was also a guy who said "co saya kata tak payah bayar apa pun sebab dah bayar kat Bahrain.."

The officer's answer to my question was satisfactory enough but she wanted to look at my completed form. She chided me over the 'blanko' thing and make big marks on my form over the mistakes that she discovered. (I hate the pakcik who stood behind us and looked at my form while the officer was checking the form - hello, can I have some privacy here?!!)

The officer asked me to re-do the form on-line. I told her - I am computer illeterate. She frowned at me, like disbelieving. I laughed. But she did agree that I could re-do the whole thing on another form.

Next year I will submit my tax using - the physical form - ha-ha, because believe me, there is just no substitute to the experience I had this morning if I only sat in front of the PC.

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Saturday Free & Easy

Went to Borders today - er yesterday actually as it is Sun already. It looked too nice not to visit (I suppose it is going to be the end of the locally owned stores? - as Borders are already opened at Curve and Berjaya Times Square and with many more to open soon I suppose..)

Borders at the Curve is very peaceful, not overcrowded like Kinnokuniya or MPH at Mid Valley mall. It has more selections too I think. I was overjoyed with their selections on beading and ceramic arts. Alas, as usual, the books are all too expensive to splurge on.

I peeked into the latest book co-written by Trump and Kiyosaki - I didnt notice its price but urgh, hardbound - I doubt I could afford it. The cook books beckoned me as usual and, as usual too I cant resist getting a couple which are on bargains - one is about chicken from a to z (as the children love chicken so much) and the other on tastes of italy (would love to be as passionate about food as the italians are). Maybe after this I could zap up the meanest chicken kiev or chicken cordon bleu or even some fancy italian dish (which I dont even know how to pronounce..)

We lunched at The Curve - & was pleasantly surprised that it has a very nice eating environment there.

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The Mules That Made My Day

The discussion is in the morning and none of the SIs were in the office except one - who told me oh, I cant attend that as I am instructed not to do that anymore by the honcho SI himself. @&**%!! (like I care..?) How can I go tothe meeting when the R.I.C.E. list is not firmed up by the SIs? Those @#$*&^ SIs!

Then my boss told me my leave application is not approved as the office cant be left empty - hallo, everybody's dying to take leave as we all cant remember when was the last time any of us did as it has been freezed (frozed?) since no one remembers when! @#$%^&!! Afterall, it is going to be a long holiday. But darn the bosses - & fine! I'll work on Mon - it's not a big deal! It's not like I have a wedding to attend that Mon anyway. Eirfan's got school anyway.

The discussions today went on and on. Although I plan to leave on the dot at 5, yet another discussion was called at 4:40 and lasted through 8. The office was very quiet by then - it is Fri after all, and a Fri before a long week-end, to boot -

It was yet another stressful day - but my brand new mules saved the day. The girls oohed and aahed over the green pretty bling-bling mules (that's what Marks&Spencer called them). And that really, really made my day. (yeah, I am so vain - kena istighfar banyak2 - hanya Allah yang layak puji-pujian ni).

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This Is Life

This morning was bad - had a tough time getting to the office; in the end I was late. The office as usual, was busy even before 9. Checked on a few thing before booting up the notebook and checked mails.

I prayed I have very few mails. I was happy when the inbox showed only 17 items - oops, unfortunately it is still checking for mails. I wasnt lucky - there were a lot of the darned mails.

Anyway that's not the story - my bachelor went back to college yesterday after a few days holiday at home (so sad). The usual questions asked at this time is ada duit tak? He said tak de. I said why not - I gave him monthly allowance which should last till end of the month. He said dah makan. Me : why eat so much? He : Orang lain pun nak makan juga...

After many questions I found out that one of his housemates dont have enough even to eat. This housemate's parents are divorced and now both the father and mother asked him for some money. I was mad that the parents asked money from the boy till he had none left for meals. If he had enough to spare by all means, ask him for the money.

I was mad, sad, kesian - my maternal instincts kicked into action - tak tau nak cerita macam mana lagi. Tak tau nak kata macam mana la dunia ni..

*****

I Whine

I found out that I do whine - a lot!

I whine about work. About life. About health. And many other things actually.

But I guess everything Allah gives to us is much dependable on the choices that we make dak? So I'm telling myself this - stop whining and just get things done the way you want them to work out.

ps - I realise that I need a lot of reminding.

*****

Drive

Drove to Cyberjaya recently with some new people I know - friends? - maybe not quite there yet. Anyway someone told me that I drove well. Predictably I beamed.

The question asked after that was how long have I been driving? I counted mentally - man... that long? No wonder I am good. Anyway I refused to answer the question because it would be too age-telling/revealing (I think it is so cliche to be so conscious about age kan? I mean come on la, what's the big deal..?)

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They Said

Scene 1
The PD said the management (whoever that might be?) bukannya nak perah the project team into doing more, more and so much more. Trained to be cynicals like we are today by the very same management, we raised our brows and exchanged looks that clearly said - really?

I doubt the management is really interested in anything beyond delivering the project as scheduled. Let's not mime things we dont mean. And after all, this is not the first time that has happened - the miming, I mean.

Scene 2
Friends tell me I have become a stranger. Yeah, yeah I know - tell me about it.

Scene 3
Met a guy in a meeting and turned out he recognized me from like 10 years back. For the life of me, I was most embarrassed to admit that I dont remember him - at all. I said really? we have met before? He remembered where I sat, who my boss was and what project I worked on then.

He said, you have not changed a bit (please read that as aged..) at all since then. I dont know if he was serious although he looked sincere enough when he said that. I would love to believe him but I'm sure there are enough lines to testify that I do aged since the last time we met.

Nevertheless his words did make me happy for a little while before the aforesaid crow feeet managed to bring me down from cloud nine.....

*****

Quality Time

I had a lot of photos on my camera. Well, we went to PD then to Melaka during the last school break. Then we went to Penang and then to Lost World of Tambun. Then some more photos here and there. Anyway, up to the point that the phone memory is almost full.

I spent last night uploading the photos to my notebook - which reminds me that these days all my photos are in the laptop. I couldnt imagine if the notebook suddenly goes kaput. I must upload these photos to the web.

So after I uploaded Eirfan wanted to look at the photos. And then Ilyas came and Iman and then the master himself. We had the nicest time looking at all the photos. The kids laughed and created an uproar especially when they looked at the black/white photos of my childhood days.

Anyway these are some of the photos I was talking about..


The ruins in Melaka..





The pretty paku at the PD lighthouse...

Penang in early evening from the ferry..

The first try out..

Luq & Eirfan at the Lost world of Tambun

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End Of Year

It is the end of year for college students. Matriculation will end by late April. Semesters in UIA has already ended. I suppose the other universities/colleges will break off soon.

I am anticipating the boys coming back for the break. Ilyas is already home. Lepak sana sini. Luq will be coming back next two weekends. Zack maybe in May.

I love this time of the year.............. I am such an emotional mum, dont you think?

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My Eirfan

Iman bought some tickets to the movies yesterday. It's like - whether we like it or not we have to go. We went to see Meet The Robinson's.

The man of the house said, alaa - itu cerita budak kecik.. I said of course, this is the budak kecik's treat - you look at the situation like this - if we go and Eirfan likes it we meet the target. But if we go and you manage to cough up a laugh here and there then we get a bonus. Ha-ha.. ini macam kpi kat ofis ni.

KLCC was over crowded as usual (macam tak de tempat lain orang nak pergi..). Anyhow Eirfan liked the movie and the boss himself did manage not to fall asleep & there was indeed a few laughs here and there from him. I suppose we did manage to earn the bonus.

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Thoughts Of A Working Mum

There is no substitute to a wholesome, delicious home-cooked meal. It will win over fast-food anytime, hands down, where nutrition is concerned. But for convenience sake (for wanting an excuse - any excuse, that is) it is much easier to give in to the ads on tv by any of the fast food chains ie you'll be happier when you eat there or you fit in better with your peers etc etc. Or maybe it is just that much easier to give in to the whines of the little one(s).

I did my grocery shopping yesterday, after many, many weeks of not doing so. I am thinking that I should leave office earlier than usual to get decent dinner on the table.. (that's my heart talking, my head's saying this - fat chance! But life is always interspersed with wishful thinking dont you agree?)

..but kalau keluar ofis pun dah pukul 8, there is no point in slugging over the stove, is there?

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I was questioned by Celcom users why am I am rushing them for their data. I told them that maybe, just maybe because I am a perfectionist? I was asked to look into the mirror - ha-ha.

In restropect I think it is because I am worrier (do read that as cautious and one who follows the guidelines given).

*****

I met someone with very fair skin and above the average looks. Her make-up was flawless and she could be in the shampoo ad with the kind of hair that she has. She was immaculately dressed in apple green raw silk kurung kedah. The top was finely embroidered. She smiled a lot and was pretty friendly.

I sat beside her in the meeting. I noticed the embroider has many little holes that shows her skin. Her neckline shows her cleavage and her split skirt shows ample length of her leg.

I am not trying to be mean nor insulting nor stereotyping nor whatever else ... but as I sat there I thought it is really akhir zaman when man are uninhibited and modesty is no longer a coveted value. (I wonder if I should even blog this event).

*****